| A
male
,
anonymous
writes: A lady friend of mine, who just started living with her boyfriend of three years, and I recently got very close emotionally and physically. She stated he became very unaffectionate, undriven and somewhat verbally abusive (similar to his mother), thereby driving her to me. When our relationship got threatened by rumors she went from affectionate to rather cold. I turned on "smother mode" to make sure things with us were still okay... big mistake on my part. Recently after all the loud arguments they had, he claims to realize he's been a jerk and he would work to make it better. My questions are what are the chances that will actually work for them (will he actually change?) and if not will she get in contact with me if it doesn't, despite my inadvertent smothering to nigh-extinction of our relationship? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (28 February 2006):
 Well, it may or it may not work for them. It is hard to predict really. He may well wish to change but not actually have the capacity within himself to do so, therefore reverting back to his old ways. However, she may decide to stay with him anyway or she may want to be back with you or she may want both of you.
Is this what you really want? Uncertainty? Insecurity? Getting involved with someone already involved with someone else is such a bad idea and full of what if's and will she, won't she.
The reason why you may have 'smothered' her is because of this situation. Would you both be able to maintain an honest and trustworthy relationship if she wasn't with him?
Okay, you may have great feelings for her but you should try to let go and find someone who is available and able to give you all that you deserve.
Let this woman go, from your heart.
I hope this helps.
|
