A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met a man a few weeks ago and we really hit it off. It started with him having a crush on me, when I was into someone else, but after bumping into him one night and him giving me his phone number I began to like him too. He was really attentive, unlike loads of other guys that I've met recently, he actually seemed interested in me, although he seemed shy. He said he'd had a really good time with me. The next week was similar, I bump into him a lot, there's shy small talk and a lot of gazing and it's awkward in a nice way. After a few too many spritzers I decided to ask him by SMS if he'd like to go for a drink. He said he would like that, although we never set a date. We continued the way we were for a couple of weeks until I messaged him early on Saturday morning asking to set a date. I'd seen him that night and shamefully, I was pretty under the influence and he knew it. He never replied. I've not bumped into him yet. I'm pretty cut up and don't know what to do.MOD NOTE: TITLED BY OP
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female
reader, kayla20  +, writes (12 March 2010):
 he might just be really nervous id say text him again asking if he is still interested in going out for a drink as your free on (what ever day you are free) a certain day this week and then leave it at that if he doesnt reply again id say leave the chasing down to him
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (12 March 2010):
 Why not you resend that same message again to him or call him. He could have missed it by chance or did not receive it.
This should confirm that he got your message. Sometimes, messages don't arrive or they were overlooked.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (12 March 2010):
 mmmm.. hard to say honeypie, could be a hundred and one reasons why he didn't contact you. Maybe he has a girlfriend, maybe he is out of town, maybe he lost your number. You like him, and you told him, that was the action of a brave and confident woman. Don't be ashamed of that, your just going after your desires and putting yourself on the line, men do this all the time.
So what do we do now.. mmmmm.. I say we keep waiting to bump into him, if not, we give him two weeks, and then ask him to go somewhere, (movies, coffee, party) and set a firm date. No response and then we know he's not interested. If he's lost your number or something else, then we're giving him another chance.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2010): its gotta be mutual, this attraction. If you chasing him and he ain't chasin back, it won't end well for you. Get back into your thing. He liked you most when you were unavailable it seems, or not that into him. So... put yourself back in that mindset.
If he into you, he'll come around after that. But don't chase if he ain't chasin...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2010): Whenever you meet a man and start to date, you should resist the temptation to message him to set up a date or message him at all. Let him pursue you including making phone calls, asking for dates and texting.
Personally, I think you should make no contact like that for the first two or three months. You aren't his girlfriend, men like to pursue and are put off my women who are too agressive or too desperately seeking their attention.
You've already made the suggestion for a drink, tried to nail a date and he hasn't responded.
Give it a rest and see if he doesn't call you.
I also HATE instant messaging and texting in a dating or male/female flirting relationship. I am against it, it is the easiest way for a guy to communicate for a reason, it is low effort, he could be sending the same text to 50 women at a time and waiting to see who bites.
I would tell him that you don't text or IM and that you prefer that he call you on the phone if he wants to talk to you....not even an email or Facebook contact will do.
Take care. Weed 'em out and move on.
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A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (12 March 2010):
 He sounds like a decent guy, try texting him to apologise for your behaviour. If he texts you back then take it from there. He may have seen another side to you that he doesnt like.
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