A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey frnds my gf and i we live about 4 hrs of drive away from each other and meet around like 2 times a month and our dates are usually enjoyable.. shes 23 and am 22.. she used to work before but not at the moment i.e. stays home all the time and am a commercial pilot by profession.. have just got my cpl and looking for a job now.. we have been together for more than 10 months now..well.. i am very affectionate towards her.. saying i love you etc.. but shes not that affectionate.. sometimes she is.. especially in the start of the relationship she was also very affectionate but less now.. she has also told me that am too nice and too sweet.. and it does hurt me coz i care for her so much.. makes sure shes happy etc.. we havent had sex yet but have been intimate like kissing etc.. coz she doesnt want to have sex before marriage.. am pretty serious about her.. we usually talk every night for an hour or so.. but sometimes less coz sometimes she gets irritated by my talks.. when she was working we used to meet 2 times a month or more than that but now once in two months since she had left her job.. we just met 2 days ago n it felt good.. well last night i was talking to her on the phone and while talking to me she was online on her phone on facebook n chatting with her frnds while talking to me.. i felt like as she wasnt giving me full concentration coz ofcourse u can feel it.. then i asked her that i dont want her to chat to anyone else while shes talking with me on the phone as i want her full attention.. she gets up around 4 pm as shes in the habit of sleeping in the morning hours.. then she got pissed off and told me that its her life.. she will talk to whoever she wants whenever she wants.. then started saying that am narrow minded etc.. why do u behave like a detective.. etc.. i mean i just wanted her to give me full attention.. n she can look in my cell phone abt everything but i cant ask her whom shes talking to at 3 am ..i didnt forbid her to talk to her frnds any other time.. then she said our thinkings are different may be its not gonna work in the long term n frm no where she said that she doesnt have any interest in crying over me etc.. etc.. well 2 days ago she gave me two cute gifts.. now she says that she doesnt want any commitments with me.. was i just so wrong for asking her to stop chatting to her frnds while talking to me. then she said shes never gonna marry me in the future.. it made me cry coz i felt so hurted.. then she said she doesnt like emotional guys at all.. n she said that am not normal coz i cry so much for her.. she also said that i cant get any other girl than her.. i mean wtf? i do so much for her.. care for her so much.. love her so much.. n its our 1 year anniversary on 20th of next month and i told her that i want to make that evening special n also wants to gift her a promise ring but she said she doesnt want to meet me.. what should i do guys..? anyone has any experience with this type of girl.. needs some serious suggestions on how to save this relationship n regain her interest.? n plus shes not cheating on me am pretty sure.. i dont want our relationship to break but what should i do..
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (31 December 2012):
 I think its time to end this relationship.
your request was not unreasonable and I think she wants out and does not know how to tell you so she's making it so you will leave her.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2012): It wasn't your words that buried this relationship, it sounds to me that she was just losing interest in you full stop and she used your words and turned them into an excuse to say "That's it, enough is enough". I'm gonna take a guess and say it ISN'T that you're not her type, surly she would know that before agreeing to a relationship with you. Its possible she is simply a fake and heartless user of men, and she's gotten from you whatever it was she set out to get.
By all means if you think its possible to win her over again then its well within your right to do so, just try not to get your hopes up, and that way you won't get any more hurt or disappointed than you are now. Just think of it as your last try to win her back and if it doesn't work, at least you won't go away wondering "what if", but just do your best to move on then.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (30 December 2012):
 I think, unfortunately, she does want to break up, and you'll have to accept it. I am sure it wasn't your request for her to stop playing about on the phone as that was very reasonable. It sounds like she was already unhappy. Being irritable with you, not wanting your affection etc, are ways for her to keep you at arms length.
She sounds like a bit of an unhappy person, staying at home not working, sleeping at odd hours that must surely restrict her social life (getting up at 4pm!).
Maybe resolve not to contact her for a week or so and use that time to reassess things from your point of view. Is it really such a great relationship? If you do break up, I am sure you can and will be feeling a lot happier in a short while, and you'll look back on this relationship and realise it wasn't all you thought it was.
By not contacting her you might also regain her interest, but it probably won't be long til she goes back to her old ways of being unaffectionate and irritable.
Anyway you didn't do anything wrong so stop blaming yourself for this row.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 December 2012):
 I think it was rather logical and rational for you to ask that and for her to comply. However, I think she has been holding the more power in the relationship for a long time.
You need to let her go. She seems to be happy with having this relationship over with (I'm sorry to say).
Find your self a local girl. Someone who wants to same things as you and who ACTUALLY enjoy your company.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (30 December 2012):
 She's very mean. She's obviously bored with your conversations. She didn't know how to cut it off so she is distracting herself to avoid that stuck feeling. Whenever you feel like someone does not want to stay on the phone just gently say good night. She does not see you as a husband but likes the tender loving care you give her. Very selfish. You can't change her mind. She didn't want to marry you maybe because her family had other plans for her, maybe she doesn't want to move to your city. NOT because you told her not to talk online with others. You two had a different pace in this relationship. You want to marry her while she is just having fun dating you. Unless a girl wants to get serious with you it is a waste of breath to cry over a girl who wants nothing more.
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