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female
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*ebeccaislost
writes: My boyfriend and I are now 23 years old - we have been on and off since we were 16. I have always loved him but I never felt he loved me as much. About a year ago, at the time we werent together, I moved to another city. He followed. Within two months we found our own house together and continued our schooling. He got my name tattoed on his forearm in a huge eternal heart as a surprise, and told me he wanted to grow old with me. The place we moved to was out in the middle of nowhere, close to his school. I knew no one, and studied at home, so I was very secluded. I started getting angry, day after day, over the smallest things. He told me, I love you, I will put up with your anger as long as it takes because you are my soulmate. I continued to be on his case all the time, and a few months later, last week, he said "you have to move" - I cant take it anymore.. its compromising who i am. He would not tell me if we could have a second chance- all he said was I need some space, to focus on school right now.. and I want to leave it open. I dont know anymore. I need to think. I wrecked the best thing in my life.. is it possible that a few months down the road I might be able to redeem myself?? Is it possible that after you push someone past their limit, they will never give you another chance??
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2005): Relationships are hard enough to maintain in the best of times when there are no outside stresses. It sounds like you were going through a personal crisis and/or depression and you lashed out at him for reasons only you know. If you know why you did that, explain to him what happened and what was bothering you. Let him know your sincere regrets and take responsibibility for it. He sounds like an incredibly, loving patient man...one that many women would love to have. You are a lucky girl. It's likely the seclusion got the better of you. You need to sit down with him, apologize and explain to him in an open, loving, honest way what happened. Hopefully, he'll forgive you because it sounds like you care for him deeply. If your love is true and it's strong it will survive. But in the future if you are going through tough times...find out what the reasons are within yourself for your moodiness and don't disrespect him by taking it out on him. That was unfair..let this be a lesson learned.
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (21 July 2005):
 I think first of all you have to understand exactly what it was that made you angry and made you want to strike out at him. Were you resentful in some way? Did the isolation you felt somehow contribute to you being on his case?
I think once you have established what caused you to feel bad, you can then go to the next step. This will involve (at your own time) getting in contact with him and discussing why you reacted and behaved the way that you did when you were together.
Then you will be able to determine from his responses whether he would like to try again.
You could also add reassurances to it not happening again and ways and means of preventing it happening again. How you could both work together and achieve a good relationship.
When a couple do love each other, they will tolerate a lot to be with each other and may go through difficult times but stick together and this is because of how they feel for each other.
There is every possibility that he will give you another chance but of course, it is hard to predict, and will depend on a variety of factors such as what he may be doing, if he has met someone new, how he still feels for you, whether he missed you.
You may find as time passes that you don't feel quite the same way; only time will tell. This will apply to both of you.
By all means let time pass to reflect and consider what may have gone wrong. Be honest with yourself when you are analysing.
If you do still want to be with him, don't let the grass grow too much under your feet though. Just make sure you understand all that wasn't right, how you could stop it happening again in your relationship and then tell him how you feel.
Good luck
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