A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:not to long ago i was very sure of what I wanted; this guy named J. him and I are so similar it verges on scary. same likes, dislikes, fears, hobbies, etc. he's adorable, a total sweetheart. I pretty much assumed I was falling for him. flash back, to 6months before I met J... I had just moved to a new town, didn't know anyone here. I walk quite a lot in the summer, which lead me to finding out that I live by a house full of guys my age (oh joy haha). every time i walked by, without fail, i'd hear wolf whistling and "hey baby" etc. not going to lie, it made me smile; I'm not used to getting a lot of attention from guys and it felt good to be noticed. anyways, i met a girl and we became friend. turns out she'd had a one night stand with one of said guys, and they were friends of sorts still. anyway, one night it was BOILING inside my house, so we decided to tent it in the backyard. we were just chilling, watching movies and mixing drinks, when we hear the gate close. there was a small moment of panic as I unzip the tent to find 4 guys in my back yard. but of course my friend knew them, so it wasn't creepy, just unexpected. they invited us over to party, and we agreed. N (my friend) had a HUGE thing for one of these guys, so she was drunk in the blink of an eye and all over him trying to get him in her pants (never happened, he was too tanked). eventually everyone started to go to bed, so it was just N and her guy, me and AJ; who was the one N had a fling with. admittedly he was kind of cute, nothing special. he was showing a lot of interest in me, but he was polite about it, not pushing anything. he's a self confessed man whore (lol) and i wouldn't give myself easily, he respected that and just ended up cuddling and talking about life. he added me of facebook and we ended up talking a lot. his approach to women is to joke at/hint about sex, but as soon as you say anything discouraging he backed off. I didn't mind him, he was funny, and in a weird way very sweet. I confessed to him that I was a virgin. he proceeded to tell me about his first love, and how he lost it to her, they had 2 kids together and then she screwed him over. he is no longer able to see his kids. he spent his whole teenage life committed to her, only to be knocked down; that's when he went "rogue" and started having sex with anything that was willing. in a twisted way i understood where he was coming from. I have no problem with people to own up to what/who they are. I can't STAND people who hide it. he didn't hide it, at all. I never felt anything romantic for him, or at least i thought. he moved to another province, and we didn't really stay in contact. In the mean time, i met his little brother ... J, whom i immediately felt something for. i later chalked it up to us being so much alike, etc. but now I wonder... AJ has moved back (it's been a couple weeks now), and I constantly find myself thinking about him, what would have happened if I had slept with him. every time I go out the door i expect to hear him (though it's the middle of winter and absurd). and then i think about J, and it's like they blur together. Now call me an idiot, but the other day I just kept getting this feeling and thinking how badly I wanted to see him. I got off shift at midnight, walk into my house and low and behold he is sitting in my living room with my room mate playing video games. I almost died. 1. He knew my roomy before, but had NEVER came into my house. and 2. He doesn't play video games, ever, he said they're a waste of time. (however my roomy is an avid gamer, but him and AJ were never good friends... it left me rather confused).so of course I go and sit with them. my roomy's gf whispered to me that AJ is really quiet, not his old self. I'd creeped his fb a few times, and he'd had quite a few statuses saying he had got a reality check when his ex had taken custody of his kids, and that he was changing his ways. he's the type of guy who when he says something, he follows through. Well after i got there he wasn't quiet at all, he kept making goofy comments about the game and weird noises when he died, and when he did he would always look over at me with a huge grin on his face. I talked, his eyes were glued to me (even if he was still playing). The entire time he was there, I was his focus. then at the end of the night he said night to my roomy, and as he was about to go out the door he popped back in and said "goodnight ______", rather softly, still smiling as he walked out. my head is spinning! J and AJ look A LOT alike... what if I only felt something for J because in reality I had been falling for his brother, AJ, without knowing it ?
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female
reader, beccabugg  +, writes (16 March 2011):
I think this should be a soap opera!!! Lol, but still. I know how you feel! Im only 14, but I have had 2 guys i really liked, but couldnt choose! I think you should pick AJ, because if wat you say about him is true, then he sounds like a really cool guy! What about J? Well, he sounds cool, of what you mention about him, but maybe in reality he was falling for you because you and his brother had some sort of chemistry between you! Maybe you should break up with J and then talk to AJ about how yal feel toward each other. I know you dont wanna seem like a bad person, and maybe Im wrong. Maybe you are just falling for some guy, but in reality you like J. I know you have probably heard this a billion gagillion times, but FOLLOW YOUR HEART!! If you go around, J and feel something special, and go around AJ and feel something special, then see who feels more special! Stupid right? Wrong. Just try it hun!(:
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