A
female
age
36-40,
*ovemeright11
writes:I have a friend, that I have known for 2 and a 1/2 years and Sometimes I still go back to when we first meet and I made the choice to not be more than friends with him. I sometimes feel like i'm not sure if I made the right choice. I see us both now 2 years later and he goes through all these crazy relationships that just seem to fail always and I on the other hand am in a relationship that has gone on for 2 years, but the man has never been able to feel as if he has fallen in love with me yet.So it's not really moving any where. I don't even know if its appropriate to talk about my feeling to my friend anymore because he may not feel that way since I told him, no to a relationship years ago. I know one thing, that I am always happier when I am around him and spending time with him, and that he gives the best warmest hugs anyone ever could. We had sexual relations back around the first month we met and it was only because I trusted him with all my heart that i even considered letting him that near me, at that time I had not been touched by a man in 6 months and openly asked him. This stuff was brought up tonight by one of his crazy ex-girls friends who asked us about our sexual relationship. Its not something we ever talk about so it being dug up at all made both of us feel awkward and bashful about it. Naturally it just made me think about it all again and the past that we almost had. I know I am rambling, I guess I just want to know what i should do about my way of thinking? It seems to come and go, but it's always in the back of my mind some where when I spend time with my friend. I love him a lot and I am glad he is such a good person and good friend. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Lovemeright11 +, writes (6 March 2013):
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2013): Well OP you gave it a dry run back then and you weren't interested it sounds to me like all this is just the "what if". His relationships are shit, your guy is only with you out of convenience so of course you're starting to wonder what if you'd tried it out with this friend.
But it's simple OP, he makes a really good friend but in your heart you were never truly interested in a relationship with him or that's what would have happened.
I also get the sense you're wondering if he can be your escape from your current shitty relationship. Well he's not, you have to escape that yourself. If you did try that you'd be stung by the rebound and probably lose him as a friend too.
OP you sound like you're in a rebound right now, you know it's not just for people who are only after breaking up. People in dead relationships can be on the rebound too. When in the rebound any guy who you have any connection with or pays you any romantic attention can be the most amazing seeming guy ever but that fades quickly once you're over those feelings.
OP you're real issue here is that you're in a dead relationship with a guy who doesn't love you. You said "yet" but come on OP two years is more than enough to fall in love and you know it. The relationship is going nowhere and you need to consider moving on. And you have to get rid of these thoughts for your friend OP, it sounds like you're doing the weak asshole thing and wanting to use someone else to save you from this crappy relationship. OP they very rarely end well at all. If you leave this relationship then you're going to need months to get over it before you're emotionally ready to move onto another guy. Once you are over him I bet you a million bucks you won't be wondering about your friend anymore because you'll remember why it developed into a friendship instead of romance in the first place.
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