A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, so hopefully you can give me some advice... When me and my boyfriend first got together we were absolutely crazy in love and I honestly still am, i would die for him... Wed known each other a while before and there was a rumor going round about meWhich wasn't fully true, but a small part of it was, I had been with a guy, who happened to be nutcase who spread a lot of lies about me after stalking me etc. My Now bf asked me about this guy And I told him I wasn't willing to discuss it as this guy had put me through hell. He kept pressuring me and pressuring me and I denied it, partly shame, partly it was a long time ago and none of his business and partly just wanting to get on with this amazing relationship. But he still kept pushing me, so the truth came out,. He said he could no longer be with me as he couldn't trust me and the love had gone... After a lot of apologizing and making up from my side we got back together. Two years on, and iv given this man my everything. Absolutely everything but he still won't tell me he loves me, only he "likes" me alot. Yet his actions usually are that of someone who loves their partner. If I try ask him he gets very closed up and throws it all in my face. What do you think guys, does he love me but can't say it or did I kill his love? Please help :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): Probly doese love you but knows your capabilities and is senssible enough to keep his feelings at a distance.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2010): Who was the amazing relationship with your bf or other bloke?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2010): you only hide things if it will get you into trouble. no one wants to be lied to.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2010): If he said he no longer trusts you then that is because you did whatever it was when you was with him. Who are you trying to fool? Us or yourself? This indicates behaviour of a repetative cheat who refuses to believe they are wrong. Avoiding what you did does not mean you did not do it. He is right to keep you at a safe distance. How can anyone be expected to feel cozy in what you believe is acceptable as long as no one mentions it?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): Unless you are more honest about the cause of this, then it looks more like you been found out for lying non stop over many years about something that you havent learned your lesson from. No way would he be like that if it was something before you got together.2 years on too? No way! How can you say you would die for him? You dont even respect him.
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male
reader, soon567  +, writes (17 November 2010):
Everything I was going to say, has been said. I honestly believe you can't be in a truly loving relationship. The minute you see you past as none of his business then your next minute is to end it. The one person that you should be able to trust and share with, thats the one you want. Withholding is lying to many people.
When you make up a story you have to think it through to completion and stick to it. What you and your ex did is your business and its less important then lying. Lots of people try anal. That will hurt many people including your new guy. Being upfront and honest would have help him stand by you. Its hard to stand by a lair.
Sometime the truth will set you free, but at least you can always keep ur head up.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): throws all what up in your face? your not being truthful in my opinion. you would die for him but you cant be honest to him? (or us with the sound of things) doesnt add up. maybe you killed his love then.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): He acts like he loves you but wont say it? It sounds very similar here hun. Whatever you did you just dont say it. Have you not thought of going to a confessions board instead? You have given him your everything? Does that include honesty? Maybe that 1 thing is all he wanted.? Words are bullcrap. Honesty,being faithful and respect is all he may have wanted? If he didnt get that then you may have killed his love. I love you. Do you believe that? Very easily said isnt it?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): I think theres far more to this than you are willing to say. You wont get a correct answer off any person if they are answering a diluted question. You did something with a nutcase what isnt true,then you say a small part of it is? Anyhow it was years ago and none of his buisness. What did you keep denying? I am going to stick my neck out here and ask you direct HAVE YOU BEEN CAUGHT CHEATING? You need to speak the truth if you want to hear the truth.
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (17 November 2010):
 So what happened with this nutcase? I'm not exactly understanding how he could get upset with you and have trust issues over a guy that stalked you in the past.
Need more information.
From his actions, he's not over what happened in your past. Which has nothing to do with him and happened before his time. This is a sign of retroactive jealousy, which you can find out more about in the Trust issues section of this site. Also, if he can't get over the past and move on into the future then your relationship will not last much longer. Who you were in the past is not exactly who you are today..it's not your fault he feels this way. Honestly, I would cut ties.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): If he hasn't said he loved you after TWO YEARS, then I'm sad to say he just doesn't love you. I also had rumors spread about me so I know how you feel about that situation. But my current boyfriend knows about them and heard them straight from the horses mouth. My point is he may have lost a little trust but something so insignificant hasn't kept him from loving me.
Please pleas PLEASE don't blame yourself sweetie. He just doesn't realize what he has. I know its hard but try taking a break from the relationship. Don't call/text/email/facebook/twitter or anything. Just focus on YOU.
I guarantee you he will be in the palm of your hand. And if you do end up getting back together, don't share your emotions until he's ready to share his.
Hope I helped. Good Luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2010): you didn't say what you did with this other guy
If he doesn't want to love you, than he doesn't want to love you. Tell him you want to be loved, and you have to find someone who loves you, as you want to love your partner and you have to have it a mutual relationship, well at least in your head you have to know it is mutual.
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