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female
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anonymous
writes: My b/f and I of 2 and a half years almost broke up. He became very distant. Didn't touch me, kiss me, talk to me like he used to and he eventually explained he is tired of a lot of our arguments, tired of me giving him a hard time if he wants to go out with friends, and even things that annoy him and sometimes he thinks shouldn't annoy him - still do.I was very upset but I asked if he wants me to stop calling him which i guess is good b/c i wasn't begging for him to stay and he replied saying he does not know if i need to do that b/c its not like he doesnt want anything to do with me and he doesnt know what he wants right now and maybe its a passing feeling.A few days of distance still pass and I eventually text message him saying IF you are phasing me out, its working. IF its a possible passing feeling like you mentioned and then i continued on with a solution to the problema such as me staying at his apartment more so he doesnt feel the stress of driving 30 minutes to and from to see me a few nights a week, and to do more around the place etc etc. I wrote we need to see how the weekend goes and figure out what will happen.Eventually he made a move to be physically closer to me so i'm assuming the idea is good to him.Am i being a push over or is the text message i sent a good one---saying if you are phasing me out, its working and if its a passing thing then the solution is..etc etc.Did i handle it well? I didn't run away when he told me all those things about possibly not wanting a g/f anymore b/c I'm still attached and i said those things to show i want to work on it.I'm worried this could be a bad thing for me..maybe im a pushover or did I handle this situation well?
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008): You did the best you could with the situation you had on your hands, so I'll say yes, that was the best thing to do. I hope you guys sort it out, good luck honey.
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reader, childof1981  +, writes (8 March 2008):
 You handled the situation about as well as you can. However you telling him the solution is X is a but presumptuous. You both had a breakdown in communication that caused issues with your relationship to boil over without resolutions.
At this point any solution you propose is going to be tempered by his thoughts. Which are probably "Why did she not see these issues before this happened? if she was concerned with my feelings she would have notices long ago ... Is she only doing this now because she could lose me?"
You handled it well, but as for the solution. I think if you are going to get your relationship back on track you will have to propose a solution to your communication issues, then a solution to the others.
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