A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I think I really screwed up with a guy I'm interested in. I have recently left my husband, we were never in love so I have been emotional gone for quite some time. I have a friend who I have known for most of my life, but only recently gotten close to. He starting talking to me on fb months ago. He would comment on pretty much everything I said. At first I thought we were just friends, but he was pretty much there every day. We then started messaging and texting and have hung out with a group a couple of times. I have children from my marriage. My oldest is in his teens. He has had a very rough life with his father. He never measured up in his dad's eyes so his dad was always EXTREMELY hard on him. This was on of the many reasons I left. Well my friend has offered to take up time with him and my son was very much looking forward to it. I told my friend how much it meant to my son and how super excited he was. Well the day before they are scheduled to hang out w/ my son he found out he had to work. My son was devastated. So I sent him a message saying I really liked him but before plans are made again we really need to talk. I explained how rough my son had things growing up and that we needed to get together so I could give him more background before they met to ensure the huge let down didn't happen again. He agreed. Now though I'm worried I may have been too blunt in the message and he may get scared and not want anything to do with us. My son is a great kid he just can't handle anymore hurt right now. Did I do the right thing? He hasn't even mentioned us dating yet so did I go too far and make it where he may just drop things all together? Do you think he even liked me to begin with or was he just being friendly? I didn't mean to come off too strong, but after rereading the message I'm really nervous. Advice please!
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female
reader, petina1  +, writes (7 November 2010):
 It's always a dodgy one where children are concerned, and other peoples involvement with them. Your son has been let down and that is so wrong. Has this man been trying to get through to you via your son, which some men do?. You cannot go to far when you are protecting him. The biggest thing is to look after your sons emotions and get them on track. If this guy let him down, did you do something with your son to compensate that?. If the man doesnt want to be committed like that then leave him alone, he could do more damage. Your son will be nervous about another man coming in to yours and his life if he hasnt had a positive experience with his father and you could have the backlash of that with any other man who comes along. Good Luck
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 November 2010):
 Well the message is sent now so you cant go back so dont worry about it, i dont think you were in the wrong no, you are trying to protect him from getting hurt which any mother would do and am sure this man will see that, however it might be a bit over whelming for him at first but if he likes you he will come around from your message and put it to the back of his mind. Just remember it wasnt his fault he had to work. Its hard to tell if he is being friendly or if he wants more, its not for me to say as i just really dont no, try not to worry and just see what happens in the future.
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