A
male
age
30-35,
*ovestruck44
writes:im 18 and going to college in a little over a month and ive dated my girlfriend for a year. i know were young but we both thought we knew what love is and thought we were in it but now im thinking other wise. our relationship has always been rocky with a lot of fights (im pretty sure more then most people) about the littlest things to the biggest things but we've also had a lot of great times. the fights are still going on worse the last month . it drove me crazy because i always thought the fights were over nothing and i just was tired of arguing about everything. it made me stop caring because i just wanted to be happy and not have to worry about anything especially something i thought didnt matter (like me asking if she wanted to go to a party she'd say you can just go you obviously would rather do that then be with me, just one example) but i stayed seeing her and talking to her. it got so bad that i decided to break it off with her about two weeks ago. i told her i couldnt take the fighting anymore and i felt like our relationship gets started over every time we fight, and that its not going anywhere cause of the fighting. when i broke up with her she brought me all my stuff and was balling and seemed like she was going crazy. i felt so bad because we were each others first love's and she said she wasnt ready to let me go and that she loved me i shouldnt have kept talking to her after i broke up with her but i did and everytime she was crying (saying she wasted all her time on me, i do everything for you, and that i just used her for sex, which isnt true at all. she asked me to have sex knowing i already had sex with two other girls and me being her first) and it just made me so sad and i felt bad for her. we started hanging out again not long after because i decided i wanted to give it another try after thinking about all the good times and how strong i used to feel towards her. i try to hang out with her every other day though so she doesnt start a fight over saying i only want to be with my friends but now when we hang out i dont feel the same love for her and i dont feel that spark or the want to really hangout. whenever we do it just seems boring, like there's nothing to do. making out isnt even fun and i dont want to have sex with her (so i dont). i wish these feelings would come back though. what should i do. i dont want to break her heart if my feelings dont come back. i need some help and adviceplease and thank you
View related questions:
broke up, spark Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, missconfused101 +, writes (11 January 2011):
 You never really know. In all relationships the sparks will die out every once in a while, but that just gives you a chance to heat things up again! Every relationship has its ups and downs. If 2 people are meant to be together than they will be willing to work it out each time. :)
A
male
reader, lovestruck44 +, writes (14 July 2010):
lovestruck44 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthe advice has been great thank you and thank you to whoever posts some advice. i can't get enough. Ive been reading on here and people say that in relationships the spark always dies (but may come back)and it is just another step. what do you think
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2010): Well I am going to start out saying that you are a very caring guy for giving it a second chance for her. Everyone can fall in love with someone and then lose feelings, it's life. Especially since you are young. If you don't feel the spark that you use to feel with her, then I think you are going to have to let her go. Sit her down and explain everything, how you dont have the same feelings anymore. Just how you have moved on, sooner or later she will too! You were each others first love, so it will be difficult to just forget about it, especially for her. Just end it and give it time. You will both move on and be happy :) Best of luck!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2010): Lovestuck,
You can't force yourself to have feelings for someone. Either you do, or you don't. Based on what you said about being bored when you hang out and not having the desire to be intimate, it sounds like you're very much out-of-love with her. You obviously still care about her, but caring about someone isn't the same feeling as being in love with someone. It sounds like being in a relationship with her was tumultuous, which is why you aren't feeling so interested in her now. It might be for the best if you cut ties with her, and both of you went about your lives. Eventually, it'll be easier for both of you, and if you want, you could try just being friends with her much later on.
Good luck!
...............................
|
