A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so I've been dating this guy on and off for about 2 yrs now and i left my finance for him . i realized while i was in engaged that i wasn't happy i just thought i was . when in reality my ex bf made me happy he always has .so i ended my 1 month engagement and poured my heart and soul to my ex telling him that i'd do whatever it takes in order for it to be okay since he's always fought for me and waited for me i felt i should do the same . he then told me he loved me and that hes always wanted me and that he wanted to be with me forever .he made me the happiest person in the world i was finally with the person i wanted to be with . then one night after we had sex for the first time in a long time .i told him when do we start telling people and he told me that he loved me but that a part of him was curious to find out how things would work with this other girl. he told me he doesn't like her but that he promised his friends and family that he'd try and get over me and see how things work out with this new girl . he said she didn't make him happy he said hes torn between friends family and people and his feelings for me .he told me he wanted me to be a secret just like he was to me when i was engaged (we were seeing each other secretly ) he said he wanted to date me and talk to another girl and i flipped out and said no and walked away . he cried and i cried and i called whatever it is we have off and blocked him from everything .i feel like what i did was right but i also feel like i should have stayed or tried harder ?did i do the right thing do i try or just let it go ?
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female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (12 October 2010):
 Yes, you did the right thing. Don't look back, keep going and stop wondering if what you did was the right thing.
Just as your ex-fiance was not right for you (you wouldn't have been involved with someone else if he was), this guy is also not right for you.
This guy was fine while it was all a secret...but now that you want to go 'public' he suddenly can't. I wonder why. To be honest with you, I think that he was using you.
Don't look at what he said to you about love, being with you forever and all that fluffy stuff...his actions speak much more loudly. You were engaged so you were a safe bet to sleep with but not have to committ to. Now that you're no longer attached to someone else and you can be with him a 100% and you want the whole world to know, he's backed off. Isn't it obvious?
The other girl, whoever she is, and is there is one, is just an excuse. No person does something they don't want to do.
Bottom line is, if he really, genuinely loved you, he would be with you. He would want the world to know about you and him. And he wouldn't have been seeing you while you were involved with someone else.
For your own good, I would let this go and use it as a lesson. When a guy truly loves and respects you, he doesn't act like this guy.
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