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Did I do the right thing in finishing this relationship?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 October 2012) 7 Answers - (Newest, 10 October 2012)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid

Here it goes, me of my bf (soon to be ex) were on and off for past 2 years. He never calls and when I do he always says he is bored to talk to me, picks up a fight and wont call or return my calls for a week. Sometimes even without a fight he just wont call. I put up with this jerk for 2 years.

Today, my battery died, so I called from a pay phone. He picked up the call and when he knew it was me, he dropped the call. I thought the call was not clear and hence he dropped and called him thrice from the same phone and he never picked up. He told me earlier he was busy at work, guess what he had time to pick a call from unknown number but no time for me. Something died in at that moment, I felt cheap, used and I just wished I could bury myself at that place.

I blocked his number for good and removed him from all my social networks.I feel so used and angry, I wanted to thrash at that asshole was wasting 2 years of my life. But I'm not gonna give him that satisfaction that he can hurt me anymore, not in this life time

So here I am writing this on dear Cupid, so someone thinks I did the right thing. Thanks

View related questions: at work, cheap

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (10 October 2012):

kenny agony auntyou did the right thing. He is nothing but a coward and you are better of without him. There are so many more better guys out there than this, don't let this jerk put you off. Good ridance i say!!!

Good luck

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A female reader, Stayc63088 United States +, writes (10 October 2012):

Stayc63088 agony auntYes you did the right thing! Pat on the back and good job! He treated you like less than dirt and you blocked him in every way possible. You definitely did the right thing and stood up for yourself. Keep your self respect and don't call him ever again. If you get the urge to, post something on here or you can message me and talk/vent your anger about him. Again, good job!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2012):

"me of my bf (soon to be ex) were on and off for past 2 years"

"I feel so used and angry, I wanted to thrash at that asshole was wasting 2 years of my life. But I'm not gonna give him that satisfaction that he can hurt me anymore, not in this life time"

So what is it going to take for you to OFFICIALLY break up? In other words, exactly when are you going start referring to your "bf (soon to be ex)" as your "ex"?

Until you do, your relationship is far from finished because it would appear your "bf (soon to be ex)" still has a hold on you that neither you nor he will relinquish lightly, and so in his eyes this is just another "off" phase in an endless unhealthy dysfunctional "on and off" cycle.

I politely and respectfully but firmly suggest counselling. There are forces beyond your conscious control that are motivating and driving your behavior, and if you don't resolve whatever long-term deep-seated issues you have, then as soon as he gets you to talk to him (and he will) you will be right back on the same old treadmill.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (10 October 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntof course you did the right thing..

what a jerk... he couldn't have the decency to end it like an adult...

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (10 October 2012):

Honeypie agony auntYou KNOW you did the right thing, so don't second guess yourself.

Next time, don't let anyone string you along for two years is a piss poor relationship. There is ALWAYS the choice to walk away.

And stay away from "fixer uppers" you know.. the guys who seem good if "only" they would change this or that.. Not worth the time and effort.

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A female reader, Daisy_Daisy United Kingdom +, writes (10 October 2012):

Daisy_Daisy agony auntYeah I think you did the right thing. Try not to think of it as 2 wasted years (hard, I know) - think what you've learned from it. And well done for standing up for yourself and being strong - some people put up with crap relationships for much longer than 2 years.

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A female reader, Rachel4646 United States +, writes (10 October 2012):

Yes! You did the right thing. Now start doing everything he has been doing to you. Ignore his calls, texts, e-mails. Delete him from facebook.

When he finally finds you 2-3 months from now and begs forgiveness from you and wants you back, tell him he is boring you and walk away. It will be very empowering! Remember man only wants what he can not have, it is the forbidden fruit that is so attractive.

Please do not feel that you wasted 2 years, everything in life is a learning experience, no one will treat you like that again.

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