A
male
age
41-50,
*uperDan
writes:I finally broke up with my needy, neurotic girlfriend of six months, and went out to a Halloween party that same night. Next thing you know, I'm talking to this new girl, one who really seems into me (probably because of my costume), asks for my number, and it looks like we're about to hit it off, start dancing together and such, when suddenly, I turn around, and there's the girl I just broke up with two hours ago, sitting with my friend, who is a lush and that I regret introducing to her.Out of guilt for having JUST broken up with her, and fearing that either she or my friend would cause a scene to scare this new girl off, I felt forced into abandoning the place. A shame, because the situation seemed so fitting; I finally got away from the girl who was causing me headaches, then this new girl, who differed from her, mentions that she just broke up with her boyfriend, to which I say I just did so with my gf, only to see that "Ms. Needy" would not be denied.Did I do the right thing by leaving the place and not going further with the new girl? Or did I dupe myself?
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female
reader, im_a_dummy +, writes (4 November 2008):
 yea, sorry... i was multi tasking, i ment you shouldnt change your life... like, if you dont love her, and you dont wanna spend the rest of your life with her, chances are.. your not gunna see a lot of her around, so dont change your plans to form around her. Like if u wanna date someone else, date them.. if your ex, creats a scean and scares them off, without letting you explain, then like.... really, it wouldnt have worked out ne way.... and what i mean by explain is like, tell her like... we broke up, it wasnt a good match and she is upset that we didnt go anywhere, or like... do anything to sexual... that kinda thing
A
male
reader, SuperDan +, writes (4 November 2008):
SuperDan is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt didn't end too well; the manner in which I broke up with my gf was rather unflattering, resulting in an argument over the phone (something very commmonplace between us), and I felt relieved to be rid of her. But when I saw her at this place, all I could think of was what if she sees me with someone else just two hours after I forcefully broke it off with her? Would she come over and make a scene, saying things either to me, like "You PIG! We just broke up and you're already dancing with someone else?" or maybe go over to the girl and "warn" her about how much of a "jerk" I can be, in an effort to chase her away.
My gf and I weren't even exclusive, but I knew she secretly wanted to be, given her clinginess. As for the new girl, I don't know anyone who's a mutual friend of hers. But the girl who was a friend of mine who was with my ex may also have started a scene too, since she drinks a lot and likes to raise drama.
Im a Dummy, there was one part of your response I didn't quite understand; you said "if you really weren't into her and you really didnt want her, then you SHOULD change your life for what she wants".
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A
female
reader, im_a_dummy +, writes (3 November 2008):
i think it really depends on your relationship.. did it end badly? did you stay friends.?? are you really friends or did u just say that... i think of course it would hurt the girl a lott to see that, but at the same timeif you really weren't into her and you really didnt want her, then you should change your life for what she wants... you two are broken up and you dont need to make her happy, if you dont wanna hurt her, then yea, it was good that you left and avoided a scene.
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A
female
reader, im_a_dummy +, writes (3 November 2008):
i think it really depends on your relationship, but ur ex sounds to me like she is using you. My ex, chase did the same thing and after a year of dating him, he dumped me for my best friend. Then wanted me back, and he is a back stabber and i know he always will stab me in the back and hurt me..... is she the kind of person will hurt you more then once???? you just have to think bout it for yourself hun.. sorry i cant be that much of a help
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