A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Okay, I have a crush with one of the guys at my job. We get on really well at work and people often joke about us getting together. He is quite shy however when it comes to girls and would never admit he likes someone (even to his friends). We used to message each other quite a lot over Facebook but that soon died down as I felt it was quite one-sided with me starting the conversations (He was always reply and keep the conversations going but never actually initiated the conversation) so i decided to wait for him to message first resulting in a loss of communication. Making me think he wasn't interested.Anyway a month or so ago I went out down town with a few people from my work including my crush. My crush and I agreed to be drinking buddies for the night which, as you can probably guess, resulted in us getting extremely drunk.He almost started a fight with some guy for trying to get with me, he was interrogating me about this guy who everyone knows has a crush on me (asking if I'd ever consider getting with him and telling me I could do better) and later on the night we kissed. I know drunk kisses aren't anything to go on but it still happened. Anyway, the next time at work he said he couldn't remember anything from the night so me being my awkward self didn't bring the kiss up.To make things more awkward people at work kept joking about me and this other guy flirting (I really do not remember this happening but when I'm drunk I do tend to get flirty) which made me worry my crush would think I'm not interested. So time passes and nothing really happens. They go out drinking a few more times but I decided not to join them. (Drink gets to me quickly and I tend to get quite 'friendly' with people, so I don't go out much to avoid awkwardness aha)Last weekend it was a friends birthday so we went out again. My crush couldn't go out this night. Anyway, again I got quite drunk. One of my good guy friends at work kissed me in front of everybody, and me being drunk just went along with it. But after I felt so uncomfortable I just decided to go home.Now I'm worried that my colleagues will talk and my crush will think I'm not interested. I'm also worried they will all think little of me considering the way I've behaved when I've gone drinking with them.I'm sorry this is long but I'm not good when it comes to guys and tend to worry about things. I'll sum up my questions here:1) Did it seem like my crush had any interest in me?2) Do you think (if there was any interest from my crush) I have blown things by kissing this guy?3) Will people at work think less of me considering my flirty behaviour and kissing this colleague when I'm drunk?Thank you for you help Aunts! :)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2015): What would people think? I think that they would think that you are into some very inappropriate behavior. First, it is usually wise to differentiate between colleagues and friends. It is never a good idea to get drunk with colleagues – especially if your boss was there – your reputation in the work place will sink.Second, okay maybe these colleagues are truly friends. I don’t know what a ‘drink buddy’ is but it is never appropriate to get so drunk that you cannot remember for sure what happened – never. Third, you are right, your behavior when you are drunk, flirting and kissing, may be amusing for everyone at the time, but keep that up and you know they will start to have a poor opinion of you. So I guess the answer would be simple – for heaven sake don’t drink so much. If you did offend anyone while drunk, apologize to them, otherwise don’t say anything more. But next time you all go for drinks, keep the drinks and your actions under control and your friends will see that you can behave appropriately.What about the crush? You do not know how he feels and it would be my guess that he has no idea at all what you think of him. You and your friends/colleagues seem to be very informal – why can’t you ask him to go to lunch with you or go for a walk during noon hour, maybe sit on a park bench, etc. You don’t have say anything about how you feel, just go and be friendly, see what happens. Do that 2 or 3 times, by then it would be obvious to most people that you were interested in him. He may realize it and say something to you – and you can respond. He just may start to ask you to do things. Just take it slow and see what happens.Good luck.
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