A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I just wanted to get an outsider's perspective on the kind of situation that my boyfriend and I found ourselves in.My boyfriend and I decided to move in together. I know, it was a super immature decision because we didn't sit down and talk finances or anything like that. My parents are paying my rent. I just asked him to pay half of it (fair enough I guess). The thing is I didn't know which flat we would be able to find once we move to the city. It turned out to be a little bit more expensive than we thought initially. I never pressured him into paying more but I kind of expected him to give me at least half of what he expected the rent to be. The months went by and he never ever gave me the rent money. We were planning a trip to the U.S. for the summer. In May I told him that I would much rather go to Europe because I can't afford tickets to the States because they are super expensive+I would need to get a Visa (costs quite a bit too). He sort of guilt tripped me by saying that going to the States is his dream and if he gives me the rent money back now than he would not be able to go to America. In the end he just went to the States alone never giving me any money. When he came back of course he could afford to go anywhere else with me to like have a vacation together.I honestly feel used. Is my boyfriend a complete a?^^le?
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (3 May 2015):
 I agree with the others that he used you and you were taken advantage of.
However, unless he was to pay YOUR PARENTS half of the rent, then you were taking advantage of them. You were not carrying the financial burden of living there. Your parents were, and if you moved this guy in, without notification, without your parents' permission, then you did to your parents what he did to you.
You mentioned that months went by and he never gave YOU the rent money. Would you have held it from your parents, or would you have made them whole? And who pays your utilities? You? Or your parents?
Do not take advantage of your parents. That makes you no better than this freeloading guy who I hope doesn't screw up the US too much when he visits. UGH.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (2 May 2015):
 He used you and is selfish. You did ask him to pay half. Also rent is not something that has to be talked about. It's common sense that when you share space you both pay. Only people with no conscience would think of moving in then think of excuses not to pay. He is a complete asshole.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 May 2015):
 You shouldn't have moved in without having a rental or room-mate agreement, a chorelist, list of expenses and HOW these are to be shared. Some people can move in and make it work without this, you obviously didn't have the "nuts" to tell him, EVERY 1st of the months I NEED to to help with rent, I think XXX is a fair amount. So what you got was a mooching BF who lived with and off you while saving up for HIS US trip.
You don't need a Visa to go on a vacation in the US. ANYTHING UNDER 90 DAYS is considered "tourist". I know this because I live here but I'm not FROM here. My father have visited (didn't have a visa) my brother, and several of my friends.. NO visa is needed. (UNLESS you plan on working while travelling around, then you might.)
I don't understand why YOU didn't say, hey I get that it's a dream but do you really expect ME to pay all the rent so you CAN have a dream vacation?
And I don't understand how he can be THAT selfish to not pay rent.
My guess is... HE felt since YOUR parents (not you) paid the rent, he could live rent free and if you NEVER told him otherwise? I can't really fault him.
I think this is a BAD case of NOT communicating very well, and trying a little to hard to PLEASE him, instead of standing your ground.
I suggest you save up some money and go on a vacation with some female friends. See how he likes that.
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