A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A few months back I gave this guy my number on the Tuesday evening saying it would be nice to hear from him he replied that he would text later but was then off out to a barbeque. Whether he meant later that night literally who knows. I guess if you were into someone you would text while there? Depends on the person I suppose.By Thursday afternoon I had still heard nothing so I deleted him from facebook and sent him a final inbox message telling him I wasn't going to play games. He denied all knowledge of this claiming he didn't know what I was talking about. Friday comes and I get a text from him just 'hey it's *** how are you?' as though nothing happened. I told him I was annoyed that he said he would text if he had no intention of doing it and that he just could've said nothing. I also said that I didn't want him to text me because he felt he had to but because he wanted to and he reasuured me that he did want to text me otherwise he wouldn't. Do you think he ever had any intention of texting me or did he just do it because he was pushed? Perhaps he felt sorry for me? I guess he knew I was a bit annoyed with him so it was slightly risky getting in touch wih me because I would then have his number and may give him some abuse, at the same time I can't explain the 2/3 day gap when we had been emailing several times daily. Any opinions really appreciated.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (6 December 2011):
 FWIW I sent my boyfriend a very flirtatious text yesterday around lunch time... and he never responded (well not by text but it achieved the desired result at bedtime ROFL)…. HE HATES texting and I’ve had to learn that just because he does not text me does not mean he’s not interested.
I sent a text to my 25 year old son the other day just to say HI and make sure he was alive and it took him over 36 hours to even acknowledge me…. TEXTING is a lousy way to have or try to have a relationship.
As for your little hissy fit discouraging him, just the opposite.. MEN are biologically wired for the HUNT and the chase and the CHALLENGE….
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2011): I appreciate your honesty IAmHereToHelpYou and can see where you're coming from its just to me over two days is a fair while as opposed to waiting say two hours! So any guys who read this, if you were in his shoes would my actions have made me text if you wasn't already going to? I am inclined to think my behaviour would possibly have discouraged him I anything?!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2011): Thanks for your reply So_Very_Confused. I can see your point, however with us having had regular contact beforehand it didn't all add up to me. I just thought if he was keen he would have done it sooner. In all honesty when I said I don't play games it wasn't as much about antagonising the situation as I was very surprised to hear from him again. It was more to let him know that I wasn't just going to get away with it. Admittedly I was annoyed as I felt he had initiated the contact between us and been keen to talk to me then as I had tried to take it a step further it had been thrown back in my face. So I probably could have gone about it in a slightly better way.In my defence I think that technologies have moved on a lot from the days when letter writing was the only option so I'm not entirely sure I agree with that point! Anyone else got anything to add? Thanks in advance for any answers received,
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2011): I think you have been a bit too intense. Ease up and relax. You will frighten people off if you are so demanding when you hardly know someone.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 December 2011):
We have become so INSTANT as a society. He said he would text you and you figured it would be instantaneous (within a certain number of hours) and it was not. That was on a Tuesday right? Then 48 hours later you had not heard from him so you DELETED him from facebook and SENT HIM A MESSAGE telling him YOU were not playing games but sweetie THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID.
IF you were not going to play games you would have deleted him and moved on… instead you INCITED him by sending a “fuck off loser” type of message. He had NO clue what you meant but IT GOT HIS ATTENTION which is WHAT YOU WANTED.
You don’t know this but he probably was going to text you on Friday with “hey how’s it going?” anyway. NOW you will never know this.
Just because he did not text you on YOUR timetable does NOT mean he had no intentions of texting you.
TWO OR THREE DAYS is NOTHING…. I think often of John and Abigail Adams who loved each other madly and passionately and spent MUCH of their marriage so far apart that it took WEEKS for letters to arrive back and forth to each other…. Why must contact be so instantaneous?
Had you waited for him to contact you on his terms, you wouldn’t have these questions and concerns now.
Who knows if he would have contacted you or not... but i bet he would have... sometimes folks just need a few days to sort things out.
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