A
female
age
51-59,
*wati
writes:Dear CupidMy married boyfriend called me this morning at 5.30am simply to tell to stop this relation, stop smsing him and its an official break up. I know that he was pressurised by his wife to call me at wee hours simply to annouce a break off. Its been half a day gone and have not heard from him. Did he mean what he told me this morning? I wondering and want to know what happen that caused him to call me.
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female
reader, dwati +, writes (31 December 2009):
dwati is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDear ReadersAfter I wrote my problem here sometime last week, I went for a short trip. Frankly at that time of my departure, I had not heard from him at all. I left with a heavy heart.Till I came back on early this week, I decided to find out what was making him not to call me or even text me.I called, fortunately he was still willing to take my call, we expressed our unhappiness that has caused this miserable time. We met up yesterday after a week of each other's absence. Its seems that we have lost so much touch and much to catch up. Well, the reasons being his absence was a test for me, in order for him to know how long I could stand not hearing from me. Bur whatever it is, I am prepared that what was being said, not what he meant sincerely.We love each other so deep, however I really dont know if this love last...
A
female
reader, lovelife1437  +, writes (23 December 2009):
You do deserve to know and it must be bothering you, hopefully not the concept of stopping the relationship but the idea behind it, so your head is spinning wondering why. Do understand that if he hasn't explained why he called you late a night to stop the relationship then just try to reason to yourself that it is the best decision for the both of you especially when you're both are married. Take some time to truly think about your marriage/husband, forget the married boyfriend for now. There is obviously something not right with your marriage so you need to clear up this situation before you get involved with someone else. How would you feel if your husband is doing the same thing. Don't hurt yourself and others by putting yourself in a relationship that is not giving you happiness or fulfillment. If you're not happy it will affect your mood around other people and it's not fair to them so try to figure out what is the reason for the unhappiness and work on it. I hope you'll think things through (one step at a time) and live happy. :-)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 December 2009):
 Maybe you should focus more on your own marriage then this man? I mean really WHY are you both still married?
I would guess that his wife found out and gave him an ultimatum, OR that he finally grew a conscience and decided to end your relationship.
You need to do some soul searching. Why do you cheat? Why stay in a marriage that obviously doesn't fulfill you?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2009): It amazes me today how people find it okay to be in a relationship with someone that is married. It truly is a problem - period. It is not okay to cheat on your husband or wife - instead divorce or fix it. It is not okay to have an affair with a married person -- stay out of their relationship.
Too much negative attention is given to the husband or wife that is cheating and not to the person that is interfering with the marriage. Marriage is simply a difficult journey at times. It is easy to find a man or woman to have an affair when you are married. That is the problem
Negative attention needs to be given to the person that is interfering in the marriage. Leave other people's marriage alone! This is especially true if there are kids. Allow the marriage to run its course without ruining it for an entire family.
Affairs=divorce divorce=great difficulty for most children that difficulty translates in to great difficulty to our society. People suffer when you interfere in someone else's marriage and it is not just the injured spouse (although that would be enough). Just stay out of it!
Leave married people alone.
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A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (22 December 2009):
It never ceases to amaze me how many messed up people we have up in this MF. Yes, he probably messaged you at gunpoint from his wife and at first opportunity will contact you to nix all he said, then after a few weeks of lying low, you will continue your relationship with him. But why are you doing this? You have a husband so why don't you sleep with him? I feel sorry for your lover's wife. She is suffering because of you.
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A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (22 December 2009):
 He does not love you. I know it hurts but its true. He would have left his wife a long time ago to be with you if he realy truly loved you.
Look, try this: cut the chase and give him a time limit. Call him back and say "be a man, if you truly loved me then I will give you one month to leave your wife and be with me, if after that time you have not left her, you will never see me again."
the same goes for you too. you will have to leave your husband and children.
After this, if he does not come accross, promise you never speake to him again. You deserve to respect yourself much better than this and save your dignity before you have none left.
I really do feel sorry for you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2009): If you were his wife how would you feel about him having a mistress on the side?
Yes, his wife told gave him an ultimatum. It was either his wife or you and he seems to have chosen his wife. IF he calls you back his wife will have dumped him.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (22 December 2009):
 Hell yeha he meant it good for him stop being a homewrekker yu need to go find your own husband instead of weaving your web around someone elses. Women like you are just as bad and as much as fault as the men who are cheating you kno hes married. I just did an article on this let me make sure it got posted it was all about weak men this man fell short we all do at times but his wife hanging in there to pick him back up Now what are you doing theres enough single men out there stop being a vulture scavenging off of others.
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A
female
reader, dwati +, writes (22 December 2009):
dwati is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDear 1437
We are both married to be honest. We are already in this realtionship over a year and everything seems fine. We are able to meet every other nights and still manage to keep our family intact.
As for him to call me late night that is very unlikely of him. He has never wanted this break up through our relationship. He appreciates and love me as much as he do love his wife. Now my question is did he really mean what he has said this morning? If he is why cant he wait for a better time to talk? Watever his decision is, I respect and accept it but I think I should deserve to know right??
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A
male
reader, Griffo +, writes (22 December 2009):
Yes he means it. If he's married you will always be second. No crap, that's it. Why why why would you bring yourself to a man that's already married?If he does that to her then he would have done that to you if you were married you know.
Forget him and go get yourself a new single one.
Merry Christmas.
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A
female
reader, lovelife1437 +, writes (22 December 2009):
Take him seriously that he wants to stop the relationship with you because he is married. Do yourself a favor and love yourself so you should move on. What are you doing with a married man, if he was just dating another woman that's another story but he's married and has a wife. He made a commitment to his wife by marrying her and you're just hurting yourself being the other woman. He might be having the best of both worlds (you and his wife) but you're not having any world. Think for yourself and it'll hurt in the beginning when you let go but eventually love will find its way to your heart. If married boyfriend and you are meant to be, it'll be, but don't force it like you are doing now because it won't benefit either one of you. If you're planning to wait for him for some reason then during the meantime live a little and enjoy your life without him because you'll never know if you'll end up with someone better if you never try for better. Good Luck! :-)
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