A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My basic question is an opinion one. Could you turn away someone after they told you that you're the only one they want to be with? And was he really doing me a favour?I have a complicated love life so I might as well start at the beginning.My first boyfriend, when we were 13, was emotionally abusive, leaving me with some major trust issues.My first year of high school, I met a guy a year older than me, we'll call him D. This sounds horribly corny, but it was the closest thing to love at first sight you can get in this world. Problem was he had an on again off again girlfried, who we will call L. They've dated 13 times since they were 12. We flirted here and there and I became one of his most trusted friends. Still, it never quite worked out because of L and my own insecurities.Finally, last year, I got up the courage to ask him to a school dance and he reciprocated by asking me out. We were madly in love and inseperable. He trusted with me a lot. We dated for six months before my busy schedule tore us apart. We agreed to remain friends.Over the next six months, he dated and broke up with L yet again. My trust issues got the better of me and I began to question everything he told me, from his problems with L to his virginity to his love for me. I was crushed. A younger friend and I flirted shamelessly but I couldn't muster the trust to enter into a relationship with him.I didn't speak to D until a year to the day after he first asked me out. I was talking to him online, interested in being friends as we had originally decided. He asked me out again, saying he couldn't stop loving me. I agreed.That was a month and a half ago. We've seen each other for only 45 minutes since. I was beginning to question our commitment but I still harbour deep feelings for him and don't want to be involved with anyone else. Yesterday, D told me he didn't think he's treating me fairly by holding on to me when we don't spend time together and that someone else might be better for me. He wants to just be friends. I said that he's the only one I want to be with right now, and I'm fine with our relationship. He insisted on the "only friends" status. So now, we are "just friends". I just wanted to know who out there could do what he did and whether or not he meant what he said by "someone else being better for me."XOXO-RS-
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008): Thanks for the support and kind words. I'm feeling better once getting this all off my chest. :D
XOXO
-RS-
A
male
reader, bobbay123  +, writes (2 June 2008):
He sounds like a reasonable guy.He's doing what's best for the both of you.You two can't sustain a controlled and committed relationship so it seems better that the two of you remain friends.I suggest you attempt to move on and keep him as a friend, and look for other guys. If he asks you out again, refuse him. His reaction would be interesting too.
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