A
female
age
41-50,
*aisydaresyou
writes:Dear Cupid,Me and my boyfriend are living apart due to our jobs right now, for approximately 5 months - we have 3 left to go. We have made plans to travel together when our jobs are finished.Anyway, we were having a bit of a crisis - I was unsure that I could handle us being apart for certain periods in our relationship, and was hinting that it might be too much to continue. My boyfriend said he wanted us to try, that we would be together soon and that he 'wanted to grow old with me, and be happy and contented'. At the time I kind of brushed it off (I was feeling angry) but now I'm thinking - what exactly did he mean by that? We are both quite young (24 and 25) and so a little commitment-phobic I think - but he is the first guy I could seriously see myself having kids with etc. I thought he felt much too scared to think of big questions like that. But someone else said they think this 'growing old with you' business means it is really serious, like marriage serious, or something. What do you think? Does he mean that? (We are not really big fans of marriage, though I think he'd like to marry someday, for the public family celebration element, but I didn't think it would be with me somehow). I'm too scared to ask him what he thinks, because a) he may have said it under duress, because we were having a stressful conversation and it would be very embarrassing if he had to backtrack and b) if that's what he meant, that is huge, and I don't know what to think about it.
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female
reader, daisydaresyou +, writes (28 February 2008):
daisydaresyou is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your reply. I would like to ask him, but I'm too scared to! I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable, or pressurized into saying something he doesn't mean (or more likely, not saying anything, and it causing all kinds of problems). Any advice on that?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2008): From what he said, I think he means that he'd love to marry you one day, and doesn't want to end the relationship just because for a few months you had to live away. Also, he clearly DOES feel happy and contented, which is great! He's obviously very in love with you, so why not ask him if he still means what he said. I'm sure he'd take that fine. Good luck :]
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