A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I started working at a nearby resort when I was 16 and instantly started to crush on one single manager.. We have always been able to talk and get along great. He is twice my age though and has a kid half my age. I am now 19 and he 39 and I've been there for two years now and am still crazy about the guy. About a month ago we started texting and flirting and sending pictures and things were getting pretty exciting so I went over to his house the next night and we messed around and made out but did not have sex.. the rule was I can't work there anymore if we did, besides that I know that sex can sometimes ruin relationships.. just being friends and keeping each others company is fine with me. He told me that I am a very beautiful and amazing woman. A week later he said that we can't let things get out of control. We can be talk and be friends. I asked him if what we did was going to make things awkward between us at work he said no but that he hopes I have realized that I am a beautiful woman. I guess I'm partially confused on if him hooking up with me for a night was just to make me feel good about my self or does he really have feelings in return for me? I made it clear that I am not a clingy girl and have not talked to him much out side of work. I know how and that I need to keep things professional when I see him working and that has been fine at work and everything is normal when we do see each other. I guess what I'm really wanting to know is how do I reel this guy back in? I like him a lot and I don't want to scare him away by trying to push anything on him so I've laid low for a while. And I certainly hope that I am not just another regret cause I'm so much young.
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (9 November 2009):
 Normally I would say an age-gap wouldn't matter but there are other issues here. You say you went to his home and 'messed around' which probably means some physical contact that crosses the boundary of professional conduct. People meet and have relationships at work all the time. It is usually frowned upon by management and it can make work relations bad if you break-up afterwards but still have to see each other in the workplace. I think this man is saying he doesn't want a relationship because of the workplace rules. He doesn't want to risk his job for you and that speaks volumes about his willingness to commit. At best he thinks you are a bit of a fling and nothing more serious. Perhaps that is acceptable since you are 20 years his junior and have a lot of life to live yet.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2009): Yeah that first reply so answered the question... Age is just a number. If you really like someone your both single and its legal then what is stopping you? I have only ever liked older men. I've been with plenty of men my own age. All extremely immature. But in the end I've always wanted to be with an older man cause their mature. Confident. Experienced. And mostly stable and have already been there done that.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2009): He is twice your age .
Realistically this relationship wont last when you are 30 he will be 50 , you will be thinking family and home he will be thinking retirement.
Get a guy your own age, theres more than one of us out there.
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