A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:there is this guy that i have been friends with since i started high school...we were so close for about 3 or 4 years but then i felt he started dropping hints that he liked me very suttle hints..his friends used kinda tease us when we were laughing together and he then started to compliment me and would drop suttle hints to my friends that he would kiss me if he had the chance there was a few more aswell ...now we are not as close and it weird cause he never said he liked me directly to me but for the past while we bearly talk...he kinda turned a bit nasty to me at the end of school and i didnt really know why for a while untill now...i know i prob sound stupid cause it does sound a bit obv but did he fancy me or what??...im in college with him now so i dont know can i be my full self with him i dont want to be hurting him or him turning nasty again im sooo confused really haha... Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2009): Its amazing how similar this sounds to my problem at 16.. so i can help you :) me and this guy actually ended up talking about it.. he went on to get a girlfriend in the end because i wasnt sure how i felt and i was a bit hot and cold, and sometimes, even though it was a long time ago, sometimes i regret it still. We're still friends now and even though he's still with his girlfriend, me and him talk about how things could be different. Im just telling you a bit of background info so that you can see i do understand where youre coming from.. I guess the question is, is it worth the risk of ruining the friendship by saying something, right? Well i say yes. Life is all about risks, and as you can see, sometimes i wish i took the risk and went for it with this friend of mine. the point is, you have to either go for it completely, or forget about it completely. You cant be stuck in the middle because it will hold you back in the future, and you'll always wonder "what if". And if you're like me, one of those people who just cannot deal with thinking "what if", then youre the sort of person who needs to get it off their chest. The best way to do that would be telling him how you feel. and so what, maybe he doesnt feel that way anymore? im sure if youve got over it once the other way round, you can do it again this time. if you want to ask me anything else email me.. Its easier :) AAJ.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for responding really needed some advice on it...sorry if my question is a bit all over the place its just hard to fit all of what happened in the 7 years ive nearly known him into one question....Lately ive been kinda thinking what it would be like if we got together but it might ruin everything cause we just getting sorta close again and he might be well over it at this stage..i really love him as a friend buts its like we both know somethings up but never talked about it...i just cant really figure him out at times i just dont want us getting close and the same thing happening all over again that why im scared too....very complicated haha...
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2009): when i was about 16, i had this sort of situation. you know what i think though? he liked you and you didnt give off the impression that you felt the same, so his pride got the better of him. the whole being nasty to you thing seems almost like a defense thing; he made it pretty obvious he fancied you, felt almost "rejected" because you didnt act upon his flrting, and so afterwards he acted as if he didnt care or like you much anyway. i think you need to talk to him ! do you have feelings for him? if you do, tell him you never really knew it back then but you hope you could maybe work something out now. if you dont, just talk to him about how you still want to be good friends despite the awkwardness that has been going on recently. talking will get you far, trust me. you were close once and that doesnt just disappear.. so just tell him what you've told us.. you might be suprised at how he reacts. :) AAJ.
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