A
female
age
36-40,
*arvel
writes:hi.i met my boyfriend in march and he had an affair at that point with a girl from another island closeby afetr he had just brokne from his ex girl which he was dating for 9 years..from what he said he wanted to move on thats why he was trying out in a new realtionship ,after we met for 3 months we started dated til now and its been a year now( 9 yr relationsip 1)things suddenly changed wen he got job abroad ,the ex calls everyday and i will see text messages he sends telin her that i cried wen i left the country without saying goodbye,,i got a bit jealus but now its gettin worse ,,he wants to pay for her airfares n wans her to come n live/ work in the same country as us amd i jjust saw san email from last month he told her he dreams of her everyday n wants to be with her ,he loves her and cant concentrate coz she is on his mind and wants to know if the wil fight again like they use to if the get back together,,please help me i am so confuse..should i jus move on and accept that he was never over her??? i thought he was happy with me and i helped him changed his behaviour,,why does everything has to go wrong.give me the best solution please??
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affair, get back together, his ex, move on, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, LittleMissInfo  +, writes (13 May 2008):
 Hiya,Obviously i can only judge this situation from what you have told me - but i suggest you sit him down and ask him about it. Prepare yourself for whatever outcome, but go in there knowing what you want to say to him. If he admits to still having feelings for her, try not to get angry - it isn't his fault, or yours. Of course you will be upset, but it needs two people's feelings to make a relationship work. And just think there is no point in staying in the relationship if you are doubting his loyalty/honesty. If he confesses, then listen to what he has to say, and tell him that you will always be there for him and stay friends. Then you need to move on.If he denies any feelings for her, then you need to believe him. Does he know that you have read his messages/emails? If not, then i don't believe it's a good idea to tell him that you have been looking through them, as it will make you look like you have been spying on him. But just try to judge his reactions and emotions to bringing up the subject.My best advice is to ask him personally. hear it from his own mouth. He's the only one who can tell you the truth, and the sooner you face it, the better. because you can move on from this. Stay calm, and remember to be confident when asking him.Good luck.LittleMissInfox
A
female
reader, A Cappella  +, writes (13 May 2008):
 walk away. you deserve to be the center of some guy's attention, not on the side while he talks to his ex. It may be nothing, but I wouldn't play it that way.
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