A
female
age
36-40,
*hanty
writes:Basically I have been with my bf for 2 yrs and 7 months, we have been through everything together.But I am too nosey for my own good, and I found on FB that he was messaging his ex talking dirty and he suggested meeting up for sex :O its killing me but I cannot say anything obviously!!This was in April and then a few wink messages from him in May 09, she did not reply and we got together in Feb 09, she replied "its terrible" so i dont know if they did or didnt. He has told me he has never cheated on a gf before and he was engaged to that slag.I dont know what to do, I'm 80% sure he wouldnt have cheated on me cos he feels very strong about being faithful.
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cheated on me, engaged, his ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2011): Curious, why is the ex the slag? What a very rose tinted view you have of your boyfriend. For all you know he could of been the one who started the texting to her. Sorry to say it but she is not whole to blame in this. It takes 2 to keep contact and he seemed willing to do so. Maybe she was the one to delete him first.
Remember your only hearing his bias view of the situation and his picture of his ex may not be completely true. Dont judge people on hearsay and dont call people you dont know unkind names.
A
female
reader, shanty +, writes (10 October 2011):
shanty is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do trust him completely, we have many plans together. I do think that he was just flirting with her cos she was a slag, but I'd rather just forget it now as there is no real evidence that anything happened cos there was no "same again?" etc and she stopped replying so she was probs being a prick tease tbh.He just rang me then saying how much he loves me and that he knows what he's got and that we'll get married one day. He says this every day
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2011): Hi thanks guys. Yeah she is deleted on his fb and they do not talk now. I saw the messages today when I was snooping, I wont be doing that again!Yeah I do trust him loads, he just rang me then saying he knows what he's got and that we'll get married one day.I do think he was just flirting with her though because she was a slag.
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A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx +, writes (10 October 2011):
 Hello.. he was talking dirty with an ex. He ovbiously was sniffing around for abit of action and despite you thinking he is all nice and would never do anything like that the proof was right there infront of you. He was planning to meet up with her for sex his plans obviously went wrong when she had a bad reaction to his offer. Do you think if they did meet up he would of thought twice about it? I don't. I'd consult him at once, people aren't always what you think they are.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2011): Why are you asking this over 2 years later. Have you just found the messages or has he done something recently to make you doubt him?
It happened when you were first together, now your well established as a couple - yet you have this in your head. Whatever did or did not occur he's with you still which is where he chose to be.
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (10 October 2011):
 of course he tells you that he has strong views about fidelity, if he was a cheat he would not want to admit would he? maybe he did mess about with her in the early days of your relationship, it sounds like the intention was definitely there whether they did it or not. but that was over two years ago, do you have any reason to believe it continued after that time? you could come clean and tell him what you saw on his facebook back then, will you believe his explanation though? i think what you need to figure out is IF he did cheat - do you trust him NOW and do you forgive him? if the answer to these questions is 'no' then you should not be in a relationship with him. it is possible that in the first months of you getting with him he did still have feelings for her, but like i said - that was a while ago so hopefully those feelings are now long gone
x
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