A
female
age
41-50,
*immie111
writes:I’ve was dating my boyfriend for 4 months. He told me he loved me and I was the best thing that has ever happened to him. He took me away up to the lake when I was able to go and asked about what I wanted to do in my future, goals, dreams, and he wanted to work on something together for the future, etc…Here is where everything went wrong. There is a female friend of his that moved in to his vacant apartment down stairs from him a month into our relationship. We had no big problems but after a month of her moving in she was doing his Landry, cleaning his house and running errands for him. He says he has known her for 12 yrs and is like a sister. Ok, fine I thought to myself, but then shit got even weirder. He has told me he was going to bed then the next day telling me she came up to watch a late night movie, then we had a photo album I made, and it disappeared, I found it right away tucked in a drawer. He said she must have put it there when she was cleaning. (Who would do that) then he’s friend told me he was mad at them when he found out they were hanging with her. First thought is he’s cheating on me with this woman? I told him that the line was being crossed and of course he said she’s like a sister. We just got back from a great weekend and the phone rang, I asked who was it and he said none of my business. They talk 10x a day and he admitted he talked to her just as much as he does with me. What the hell is going on? Am I blowing this out of proportion? Then one day I lost it, after he didn’t text me back like he normally did. He told me he was working and to stop. Never before he acted like this to me. He would also say out of the blue,” honey you know I would never cheat on you.” My response would be, “why would you say that”. He said because he thinks that what I'm thinking. What is that? So I accused him of cheating and he said he did nothing and I’m making a big mistake. Next thing I knew he wanted to talk after a 100 text messages saying i was crazy and a phyco back and forth for 2 days then he wanted to talk face to face and I agreed. Then 1 hr before we were to meet he sent me a text saying,” he didn’t want to waist my time or his and that he can’t do this anymore”. That was it I text him back and said how could you not tell me face to face. Then I sent him emails to why I feel the way I do and what others told me. Never got a response back. Did he cheat or is he mad because I didn’t believe him? Someone help and if I screwed up will he come back to me?
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female
reader, Kimmie111 +, writes (11 September 2008):
Kimmie111 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks all for your imput, Last week I told him that this was bothering me and he said there's nothing to worry about. Well 5 days later as I’m leaving and she’s coming home after dropping off her son they bump into each other in the driveway. Keep in mind I’m not even around the corner and they walk up to each other a hug like they haven't seen each other in years. Why would he do this after me telling him I don't like what have been happening? I did end up sending a card yesterday explaining how I have been feeling and why I said what I did. I need closure on this and told him that I did miss him and didn't know what to believe. I guess if he really loved me, then he will end up coming back or at least talk right? Do you think he misses me if he loved me so much? Is he looking for me to chase him? can't understand how he could just let go so easy after everything that he has said and done.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (11 September 2008):
It might not have been a physical thing but he definately was too close to this girl.
It is over now and you are well shot of him. I think the fact hw was so keen to just end it rather than fight for you showed that his heart was else where even if he never physically cheated.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, Midge +, writes (11 September 2008):
 It sounds as though they are just genuinely close and that perhaps he has let his friendship get in the way of your relationship. Perhaps he enjoyed the fact that a woman was making a fuss about him, cleaning his house and doing all these things for him. It sounds as though he could have just got caught up in the whole situation. Probably something that he doesnt even realise. This woman sounds more like a doormat than anything more.
On the otherhand, there is no proof that he has cheated on you! You havent found her clothing in his apartment, or smelt her perfume on him, or anything like that.
Yes, perhaps he did make plans to go to bed early and she decided to invite herself up for a late night movie. But that is not proof that he cheated on you.
If I have to give my own personal opinion I think that you feel a little rejected because the time he should be spending with you, he is spending with this "sister" woman. And honestly I do understand that! I probably would to an extent too, if it wasnt for the fact that I trusted my boyfriend 100%.
I think you need to go and have a heart to heart with him and explain where you are coming from. He needs to understand that its not cool to have a woman in your house, doing laundry etc if its not your wife or partner. She may be a "sister", but she makes YOU uncomfortable and if he thought anything about that, then he wouldnt want to put you in that situation.
My boyfriend of 10 years ex keeps meeting up with him and trying to get back in his life, but I trust him enough to know that he respects me enough not to take a bit of the poison apple! You need to trust him enough to make the decision between you and his "sister".
It may be too late, we dont know, but you wont know until you try. If he means anything to you, then go and see if you can talk to him without this woman there. Tell him how you feel and that you dont want to leave things unresolved.
Hope this helps! Let us know how you get on!
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