A
female
age
30-35,
*oftballplaya
writes:ugh=(heyy everyone! I have been so stressed out lately, you see me and my ex split up about idunno 2 weeks agoish and drama seems to circulate me whereever i go. People have told me that he broke up with me due to me not letting him hit it...He knew from the start I wasnt like that but yet he still pursued a relationship with me and it lasted 4 months ya know...My question is do you think someone would really put the time and effort into a relationship of 4 months if sex was basically all they wanted?! I cant stand drama literally its ruining my life, I wish I could go back in time=[
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female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (14 May 2008):
You'd be suprsied by the amount of time some people will put in to just get sex. 4 months is very possible. And some guys will still go after a girl who clearly doesnt want to have sex. Some guys will go after strict christians who are saving themself for marriage. So despite them knowing their beleifs and values, it doesnt stop them. Guys see this as a challenge. Some guys think that they are jsut so irristable that the girl will just have to change her mind for him!!
As for your situation in particular, i cant say whether or not thats what he was doing. I need more details...
Like did he bring up the topic of sex often? Did he pressure you in anyway?
I know he called you and told you thats not why he ended it...doesnt mean hes telling the truth. Of course he doesnt want you to think that, it will make him look bad and the word would get around, then all girls would stay away from him.
You said you both kinda decided on the break up...what does this mean?
A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (14 May 2008):
 You just answered your own question, you said he called and told you it didn't end over sex. Stop listening to what other people say ! I think I remember you from another post asking about the girls who say crap to you about your relationship, ignore them ! High school= drama. It is unavoidable really. Trust your ex boyfriend. No most guys wouldn't put in 4 months especially if you have told them upfront you will not be having sex. The guy I told that to lasted about 3 weeks in a relationship before realizing I really wasn't putting out, lol. Anyways, ignore them, trust him. Girls are always trying to start crap for whatever reason. Don't let it stress you out or get to you. When they say something about it just let them know you know what happened, have discussed it with him, and it really isn't their business. But in a nice way or else it starts more drama. Don't let them get to you girl really, they are not worth it ! Good luck with everything.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): if thats the reason he left then forget him... you dont need a guy that would be like dat at least u not a S_l_t rightt forget himm
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A
female
reader, softballplaya +, writes (14 May 2008):
softballplaya is verified as being by the original poster of the question we kinda both ended it and he texted me later and said he needed to tell me that it wasnt over sex and all that, but it was 4 months he put into being with me surely a person that just wanted sex wouldnt put that much time and effort into it right??
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (14 May 2008):
 Unfortunately, yes some people would start dating just to get into somebody else's pants. It's an unfortunate truth.
Now, I think that if this was his goal and you called an end to it, then great for you for standing up on the moral high-ground. Ignore the rumblings from others and be satisfied that you have held true to your definition of a relationship at this stage in your life. IMO, you'll have plenty of time for a sexual relationship in your future. No need to feel that you need to rush it based on somebody else's desires.
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