A
male
age
36-40,
*ireAtWill
writes:So I told this girl that I'm interested in that I had feelings for her after spending the night cuddling together in bed for the first time. For some reason, the next morning I didn't kiss her. She made a move to, but I felt it was too "appropriate" or forced rather and we just hugged twice goodbye. She's very busy with college and all that and we both know that a relationship is not very feasible at least while we're in different cities in school. Like I said, I was stupid and feeling very good about it and told her I had some feelings for her over the phone and she said she'd call me back cuz she was with friends. She didn't call. I wrote her an e-mail a week later saying some sweet nothings and said that the ball was in her court to hang out. She said she was busy the next few weeks, which she is, but that if I was in town to let her know. Essentially, I thought I messed up by coming on too strongly but in a weak way, but her response seemed hopeful. In my opinion, I chose the position of "I'm gonna chase you, and you're gonna run from me for a bit". I can't chase too hard to make myself too easy to get or not talk at all, at least for a few days. Like I said, I thought that I really should have kissed her but I didn't and it may have worked in my favor because I didn't give in so easily to something forced/awkward/easy. What I'm asking is how do I play it from here? I need some opinions from both sexes who have been in our situation. How long do I wait to contact her, or do I wait for her to come to me? Also, what would she like the most to happen as far as my interest level goes, do I take her out next time boldy, or let her take control? We seem to be alternating nicely but I want some definite action and progress, if only for preparation for a later relationship or a summer fling or two... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, indie girl  +, writes (9 April 2008):
Well, i know it sounds weird but... buy some new clothes (if you can afford to at the time) and get a new hair cut or aftershave. Then, when you're looking your best... ask her to go out for some lunch. Once you're out with her, be nice, but not too nice... if you know what i mean. Show a little bit of arrogance (girls like that) and try to make her laugh. Find out a bit more about her, at this stage you need to get to understand each other more before getting more intimate. Things should happily follow on from there... (:
Hope this helps!
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