A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi there,Ive been with my boyfriend for 4 years and have always felt happy with him. He treats me well and we love each other. I always thought we would get married and have a family. But recently i started a new job and found that i have started to develop feelings for one of my work colleauges, this has never happened to me before, no man has ever interested me since ive been with my boyfriend. But i find my work colleague really attractive and get butterflys wen he talks to me. I can tell by the way he looks at me he likes me to. And now i cant stop thinking about him. Everytime i see my boyfriend i feel guilty because i know like someone else, but i cant stop these feelings. I would never cheat on my boyfriend and i do love him, but i cant stop these feelings i have. What do i do? A part of me thinks am i just liking this other person because he is new and exciting, are my feelings genuine? i just dont kno. But i dont want to hurt anyone and just wish these feelings would go away. What do i do? Please help. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2010): You feel attraction (not love) for your colleague.
Remember that attraction does not last forever. It is a temporary emotion meant to make two people stick together long enough to produce and raise babies. Sounds unromantic but it's the naked truth. You'll feel attraction for many men, but you can find very few good potential husbands. Think about it.
Do not leave your boyfriend, because in a few years you would not feel attracted to your colleague anymore and your problems would start all over again. Say to yourself that yes, your colleague is nice, but that Justin Timberlake (or your favorite TV icon) is more handsome than him. :P And laugh about it!
Seriously, girl. Be smart and do not ruin your relationship with your boyfriend, he seems like a wonderful guy for you. We look forward to reading of your wedding to him!
A
male
reader, mr toyboy  +, writes (1 September 2010):
If you want it to go away, it will.Try and think of him as just a friend and nothing more.The fact that you ve been in a long relationship might be making you seek something new and exciting, but think of it this way, even if you end up with the new guy, you might get bored again after a few years, so please stay with your boyfriend who treats you very well.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2010): Its very likely that you think you like this new guy...its been 4 yrs with your boyfriend, and now you've met an attractive guy who seems charming, flatters your ego, makes you feel special. Well you know what, there will be many times in your life, when you will meet people who are more your "type", who you can connect with, feel attracted to, and who seem more exciting than your partner...but its not done to let go of someone without any major cause, in favour of someone who seems better. Take a moment and reflect upon this. Would you like it if your partner did this to you?
Its not always the best thing to act upon an impulse. You seem to have had a good relationship with your boyfriend..4 yrs is a long time, and nothing seems majorly wrong between you guys.I have a feeling you know all this for yourself, the guy is new and exciting and you like that. But do you know this person beyond your office? You don't really know what he is like outside the workplace.There might be more to what meets the eye.
You seem to have a crush on him, and while that gives you that butterflies in your stomach feeling, its probably best left at that. There's nothing wrong with that....but don't jeopardize what you have for something that you THINK might be good.
All the best...
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl +, writes (1 September 2010):
 I think you are perfectly normal - feels good to have some attention - makes you feel desirable again. 4 years with one guy and things are just not so exciting.... well unless you want to cause problems at work and at home, stay away from this guy. Rather try and spark up your relationship.
For all you know, this guy at work homes in on all the women...???
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