A
female
age
30-35,
*oniqueEE
writes:I am a guy, and I have a male best friend. He had nowhere to stay and we've been sleeping in the same bed for about a year and a half. Recently he moved out as he found a place but at some point before that, something weird happened between us in a drunken moment. We didn't mention anything and I assumed he didn't know. I put it off as a drunken thing. Also, we are both straight. Then one day he was staying over and in the morning some sexual nonsense happened.. but it didn't go all the way. He became really pissed off and angry but still acted as if everything was normal between us. Actually he did become a bit abusive verbally but that was about it. A few weeks later we talked about it and he told me that it was all a test to determine whether what had actually happened that drunken time had actually happened. He said it would never happen again and that he couldn't believe something like that would happen between us and he would have beat up anyone else if it had happened to them but since we were such good friends he didnt want to ruin that. A few days ago I was staying over at his and then he started to come onto me saying he knew I had feelings for him (Which I had only just realised myself at this point).. and more stuff happened, like oral sex, but only i did it. Anyways, in the end he said that it wouldn't happen again and that this was some kinda test to see if he could 'get it whenever he wanted'.. So ya... I don't know how to think. I'm worried that i've developed some feelings... It has nothing to do with being gay or wtv... cos im quite open in that sense.. but he is actually a homophobe... so i don't know. What should I do?
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (23 May 2010):
 Yeah, he's got misgivings about his sexuality, and you can blame the homophobic society on that. Just be calm with him and tell him that what happened happened, and nobody's going to put labels on anyone. He has interest for you, that's for sure. Alcohol only brings out what people want to do.
Tell him that you will always keep whatever happens between you two in confidence, and that you don't expect anything more. But be honest and tell him that you don't regret it either. Sometimes, it takes the confidence and self-assuredness of a partner to bring someone out of their shell.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2010): It sounds to me like he has a problem with his seuality. maybe he is in denial that he is gay, or bisexual, or maybe he is just curious, and might be embarrased that he was curious ?. He cant be completely straight if he did the thigns you mentioned, and it sounds like the same could apply to you ?.
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