A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I could use some advice please. About 7 months ago i fell out with all my friends (except one) one boy in particular I'll call him X. Out of all my friends X was the hardest to drop because he did have a really good sense of humour. he was very influneced by the people around him and acted how they wanted him to act. I saw in him what a lot of people failed to see and infact he actually was really intelligent he just didnt show it to many people. I was always there for X and infact he was the one who ruined are friendship. Here's just an example of things he would do which showed how inconsiderate he was. His dad who was just horrible kicked him out on his 14th birthday, he was pretty upset by it all. So i took him in i gave him some money, cooked him dinner gave him a present and dyed his hair for him. I also made a suprize birthday cake to brighten up his day. My birthday was a month later and he didnt even say "happy birthday" and in fact made fun out of a mental breakdown i had suffered from 2 weeks before hand which put me in hospital and i was extreamly unstable.He did things like that all the time, he never saw the error of his ways and treated people like rubbish.But would moan when people gave crap out to him. Because of this i fell out with him big time after he had hurt me.To the extream 2 months later he decides to apologise. i thought this was a break through and i had missed him a lot. so i was happy to be friends again. But within one hour of us being friends again i was about to say Hi to him but saw him out with other friends - despite promising to go out with me for the first time again to catch up and get to know each other.He had ditched me and let me down. He called after me but i walked away knowing i couldnt trust him again. Well 7 months on and he'still trying to ruin my life. He spreads all these rumours about me at my old school ive heard and if he sees me alone in the street he will say something horrible to me. I don't know why he hates me though? he has no reason to.i'm the one who broke off our friendship surely i should be the one who should hate him for all his done ? do you think he hates me so much might seceret miss me? and thats why he hates me so much? because i wouldnt be his freind again and he misses me ? or do you think it is just because he is malicious and wants to stab me in the back for what ever reason. Advice much apprecited x
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (10 August 2011):
 Well since you don't want to be friends with the guy anyway, all this wondering about his motivation is just a waste of time. Enjoy your memories, ignore him and his rude behavior, and move on.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey, Well first of all to reply YouWish thanks for your comment. But i was'nt in any sort of romantic relotionship with him he was just my bestfriend.
I did'nt take him in because i pittyed him, i had known him for about 2 years and abit before that and despite our ups and downs we had always remained good friends, we knew eachother very well it was'nt like i just randomly met him. (sorry if you got the wrong message someone edited my message to the extream -.-) I did'nt think i could rescue or save him i just was doing my bit as a good friend.
You see the thing as strange as it may sound, he had always had abit of a problem with not knowing when to stop and had falling out with many people for taking a joke to far. He had always been like it, and when he got to highschool despite getting alot more mature he got pretty popular and he just went the complete opposite way. He had said to me many times that he needed to change, and even now hes started losing friends for being a complete idiot and its hitting hard which he does desereve.
The thing is he did'nt do this delibrately, he has no idea when he does somthing wrong and getting an apolgy is a very rare thing. His dad was a horiible man who showed him no emotion and acutally beat him on occasions.
I know i can never be friends with him again infact i don't want to, im just wondering why he hates me, is it because i was the only person who gave up on him and walked away despite him apolgyizeing and at the time not wanting me to go, or is it because hes just nasty and even after 7 months he just wants to get at me for damanaging his ego? There have been suspicioions from other people he does acutally really miss me but covers it up with attacking me mentally at every chance he gets.
I'm not to sure why i want to know i think it might just be peace of mind and to find out what is really going on in his head, im not gonna deny i miss him, we had some awesome memeories together and even though its hard to beleive by reading all this his personality was one of a kind, but because of the shit he put me through, friendship is out of the qeustion.
Thanks for everyone elses answers much appreciated.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2011): he's an idiot. get the he!! away from him fast
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (10 August 2011):
 I read your post twice and thought about it some. What struck me about it was that you mentioned some key things here. One was that you felt like you could help "rescue" him, so to speak. You thought that he was misunderstood, you gave him money, took him in, cooked for him, loved him, and cared for him.
Doesn't this sound like the guy was a stray homeless dog that you brought home, fed, bathed, comforted, loved on, and bought things for him? Well, like many stray dogs, this guy was FERAL. This guy, like a stray rabid mongrel dog, showed you why his dad kicked him out of his out by ripping you to shreds emotionally.
You can't "take in" people. Not if you're looking to have a romantic relationship with them. You will be used, berated, held in contempt, ignored, and abused. You can see that now, can't you?
No, he doesn't hate you so much that he misses you. He simply looks at you with contempt. This guy is feral, and rabid, and toxic. You did the right thing by breaking off the friendship. Now break away from him in your mind, and take this as one of the absolute most important lessons of your young life.
1. When many people are saying this guy's bad news, he IS bad news.
2. There's a reason why he was kicked out of the house. You went face to face with that reason.
3. Be a HELL of a lot more selective about who you choose as friends. You're lucky he didn't beat you or steal from your parents. Feral men are to be stayed away from.
4. DO NOT rescue guys. Don't do it. Don't even think about doing it. If you become attracted to a "bad boy", stop yourself dead cold and use your mind instead of your hormones.
5. Finally, it sounds like you're having some emotional problems of your own. I'm sorry about your breakdown. Until you heal, stay far away from boys, especially those who would exploit your fragile mental condition, only causing you more pain and suffering, and maybe on a permanent level.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2011): Could he be trying to lower your self esteem so that you will feel like you need him?
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (10 August 2011):
 Whatever it is, he appears to be one sick puppy.
You have gone out of your way to help him. He clearly doesn't appreciate it. Therefore: you don't need him in your life, nor do you need to waste any more time wondering about his motives.
You've got better things to do, your family; other friends, and activities to cultivate - not to mention the importance of focussing on your schoolwork!
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