A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone, thank you for your thoughts, I really need your help...I've been with my girlfriend for 3 years. Incredible start to the relationship, it was exciting, such a buzz, never-ending sex, fun, we were students and we met up at the weekends as much as possible. This continued for at least one year... She then began training for her job and since then it is very difficult. It's a demanding profession, I've tried to be as understanding as possible and give her the time and space to do her work but it's just been a progressive downhill slide for own own relationship and our intimacy. We started lived together after one and a half years, I had a pretty easy job so it was pretty easy to keep things in the house afloat but obviously in was a bit one-way in that department at the time. We have now moved somewhere new. I have my own career ambitions that I am working towards, I am a student again and she still does her job. Whilst there are improvements at sharing house work, it's the same story with her own work...she works every evening bar weekends, she needs most / all of sunday leaving us with just Saturdays. Her job does require it if she is to do well, I understand, but I can't even go near her when she's doing it. We don't necessarily like where we are living now and our relationship has sunk to a new low. It's sad because we can tell we love each other and want to change, but nothing seems to. I openly crave affection and attention but it rarely comes. She's always so tired when we go to bed.I'm absolutely lost for what to do now. Is this how it is meant to be? She is great, I clearly love her to bits. We still get on really well. We are starting to be really open about the state of our relationship and everything that is said here has been discussed (recently we have had "crunch talks")...Small progress has been made but the changes are so small, it's not like she can ever change her job so I'm hardly jumping for joy. I guess my head is still 3 years behind, but hers? Is this because of circumstance or how she truly is? Is this what it would be like if I stayed? We talk about getting things right but how long can I go on like this? I'm so down! Am I selfish? Sex once a month just doesn't cut it I'm 24 I'm not dead, but I hate being a sex pest. Am I too hopeful it will change? This is such a long-term decline. Please anyone! words of advice, hope, realism, wisdom? So down....
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys, things are on the up I think, we are a team when we want to be. life changes...it's how you evolve eh? Good advice and thank you again!!
A
female
reader, shna  +, writes (22 November 2013):
 The thing is even though you guys are both a coupleYour both seperate people with ambitions and goals of your own !! You should be greatful this woman has so much ambition and isnt giving in to have kids straight away like so many others !! You guys have been together since college its a big difference being in a relationship as a student and changing over to the adult world its hard to go through it !! Ive been there done that and it didnt work out we never seen each other and i myself could not deal with seeing each other every three weeks and sex once a month i felt exactly how your feeling !! And one day i literally just woke up and fell out of love with himI was drained emoitionally and i knew i deserved to be with sombody who wanted to spend time with me !! It takes 2 to make changes not just one. !! Why dont u request thensame days off work ur timetables out so you can make time for each other and actually make the effort instead !! If u guys both cared you would make the effort its the little things come on !! U say u cant deal with sex once a month but romance isnt dead either !!!
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (22 November 2013):
 Tough situation,
I want to give you some off the wall advice, she needs different advice and I'd rather not go into that right now.
You are making a mistake and you know what it is. Your needy craving possibly whining attitude is a huge turn off for her. Your doing the housework is appreciated but is again casting you in the wrong role and probably turning her off. I don't want you to stop helping, that will just be a new disaster, but you need to not let her see you doing it, unless it is a manly chore. In other words in you are vacuuming when she arrives home, put down the vacuum cleaner and take the trash out as she is coming in. It's all about image. The same goes for the attitude. Don't turn off your desire for her, but don't let her know how much you are missing it. Instead of begging, give her a quick but very passionate kiss when she gets home or heads for bed. Trust me this will get the message across much better. She will start to see you as a passionate manly man who gets what he needs. She will be inspired to make sure you are getting it from her.
I hope you understand this advice and can find little ways to make it work for you both.
FA
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