A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi I had asked a question about a guy who is a workmate, please I need more advice.After he trying to hook up with me and me turning him off coz I had a feeling he wants me just for sex,I just found out that he is been flirting with a friend of mine at work. Please help me know how I can tame him coz I realy am in love with him, but don't want to get hurt. How do I make him stop being a player and focus only on me?We have no special relationship.How do I make myself attractive to him? How do I make myself irresistible? please help coz Am desparate to win his love.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2009): Dear Desperate,
I agree wholeheartedly with the first response. I know you won't listen to us because you are desperate to win his love and make yourself irresistable to him.
Men are not keen to tactics that women do to trap them into love. You are not in love with him, real love takes time and knowledge of the other person, which you do not have with this guy.
You are driven by a lack of self esteem, which screams loudly that you think you need to change to win his love. A man that is interested in you will not need you to do that....the way to attract a man is to be your authentic self, lean back and let him pursue you and win your respect, trust and love. You ought to ask yourself why you think a man is a prize to be won over.....Never give any more to a man than he is giving to you during the courtship or you will make him distance himself from you...men value what they have to work to get. Just think of how hard they work to get that expensive car they want. What they want is an "expensive" woman, and by that I mean a woman who is not cheap and gives herself a way to easily, she knows she is valuable and that if he wants her he will have to show his love.....you don't have to work that hard if it is the real deal, honey.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2009): You shouldn't try to make yourself more attractive for any man. If he is the right man for you, you're already attractive to him, just the way you are.A women should never feel inadequate towards a man. If he makes you feel like you have to compete for his attention, then he is not the right man for you.Soon you will find a man that will show you what real love is, because what you're describing isn't love, it it just lust.When you find the right man, you will know it.But, let this guy go, and sooner or later, when he is the one that gets hurt, he will learn his lesson, and stop his playing ways.
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