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anonymous
writes: Hi, I'm Jack from England. A statistic I read up on said that "1 in 9 people in England has had an STI". For that reason and the scary stuff about STI's being on the increase I'm scared to have sex, yes it means im still a virgin at 18 1/2 and it winds me up that many 13-15 have already had it, and now I hear its getting common with 11 year olds. I cant trust the girls I’m with, being 18-20 years old they are likely to have lost it ages ago and probably slept with loads of men..and I fear all STDs but mainly HIV. I can’t rely on a condom! It’s knowing that 15 minutes or so could seriously change my life for the worse if the condom ever split. Besides I also want to do oral which makes it worse as having a condom on my penis isn't going to help. Where I live is so bad every other night I hear orgasms sounds from outside of underage girls or the tone makes them sound young, and that’s on top of neighbours doing it. My parents doing it, the stuff on tv, in films and in the press. I was sexually active from the age of 13. I started shaving when I was 14 1/2 and just the way I guess men think about it all day, for like 5 years. I’m feeling very desperate but I don’t want to take risks. Am I being pathetic?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2005): First I would like to say I wish there were more virgins around. I'm 23 and I wish I had of waited for the special person to be with. I have had STD's and it's worth the wait to find somebody you really love and would like to be with for the rest of your life.
Do you know why you can't risk your life??? It's because you only have ONE.!!!!! ONE LIFE. One choice can mess it up for life. My suggestion is to masterbate and be celabate and when you do find somebody you want to take it to the next level then you both go to the doctor and have every test done from STD's to AIDS to Virus. Usually about 8 tests. It may cost a few hundred but it will be well worth your life. Then get the results on paper and enjoy your lady. Also trust is very important that either of you don't cheat and contract STD's.
Hope this was helpful, Good Luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2005): no i dont blame you for not wanting to risk it! lets see well if you have a g,friend youve known for years and you know shes clean then give it a try! im 18 and half and got to be honest ive only slept with 1 person wich is the one im with now! what you really need is some one you know fall well is totally clean! sorry but there is no solution here other than use comdoms they split then use 2! stop you from getting deases right? if you do meet sum1 ask questions how many slept with? e.g. then to double check ask there close ones to see if telling truth! but i tell you not everyone has deases actually as i live in england birmingham i know not 1 person with a deases! and with half of these deases these days u can always tell by red,scabby, if they always itch down there, e.g yep sounds disgusting just keep a look out for them signs and any other signs when sleeping with girls.
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female
reader, AstraeaKiana +, writes (29 September 2005):
It sounds to me as if the only reason you want to have sex is that you think everybody else is doing it. But I can assure you they're not. I'm 17 (and also from England btw)and I know hundreds of people in our age group who are still virgins. Yeah, there's been loads of publicity in the papers about daisy-chaining and underage sex, but thats just a small minority out of the whole country- and obviously its going to cause a scandal, but it's been over-exaggerated.
Being a virgin is NOTHING to be ashamed of! I think you should wait until you're 100% sure you want to have sex with somebody that you care a lot about- sex should be special, not something you want to do to be like everybody else. As for worrying about STI's, you're not pathetic. It is something people should worry about, but if you don't trust the girls that you're with then are you sure you really want to be sleeping with them in the first place?
My advice to you would be to wait until you're READY to have sex with somebody you trust completely and you feel comfortable with. Don't rush into anything until you're absolutely certain you want to do it- and don't let anybody else influence you. It's your decision, nobody else's.
Hope this helps xXx
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