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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi, I just need help because I feel so let down in this marriage which has become all about my wife and her needs and her requests, etc. I came here before for advice and it has been very helpful. This is just a very brief idea of what is going on.Since we have meet 2 years ago, I can’t remember a day that has been dedicated to me, I can’t remember a day that I said to myself this person really cares about me, as the time came for her to prove that she cares, she failed totally to even talk about it, mainly because it was money involved!! When it comes to any issue to do with money she become someone else. She is so self-centred and so focused in her career and her earning that I can’t see us anymore. It has become a mission for her to earn money, and just money, it is not about us and/or for me to be happy, it is all about her and what she wants to do and I should support her all the way no matter what she decide (as I have done so to date) but the same situation doesn’t work when I need her help.It feels like she has her own agenda, her own life, her own dreams and the worse part is that I am not in that dream. I feel I am just a tool here for her to reach her desires with limited headache for her, and I really think she got what she wants and now may be she doesn’t need me anymore. I have help her so much emotionally and whatever I could do in my power to make thing easy for her, and she is not thankful or grateful for it at all, and see it as a duty!!We are married just 6 months and our problem are becoming more and more, we are arguing more and I am just so tired of it, I feel I am drained out and not feel positive anymore. I used to be very positive and happy person, but my life has become so miserable that I just want to break free from all of these. I never go for easy option and always try and try to make things to work but in this case I really don’t know what else to do?How could your wife just think about herself, and her own agenda? How could she be so without feeling towards your sensitive issues and treat it like it doesn’t matter? How could anyone be like that and not see that she has a problem? I really don’t feel I can ever change her, she is so full of herself and think she knows best, and the worse part is her family fully support her attitude, and they think whatever she does or say is the absolute CORRECT!! That could be where the source of the problem is coming from,I just want to live a happy life with someone who is 100% behind me, care about me, and love me for who I am and what I am, is that too much to ask now days? I thought that was called marriage, if that is the case, I haven’t got married with the right person, and I am so scared of thought of separation.What should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (12 September 2006):
 Gee whiz, are you a man or a mouse? It's only been 6 months into the marriage and you are whining and miserable. What do YOU think you should do about it? I think it's just too obvious. Unless you enjoy the misery GET MOVING. Good luck.
A
male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (12 September 2006):
 Why are you scared of separation? You sound like you've been emasculated. You've allowed her to turn you into a doormat. She didn't make you that way, you allowed it to happen. You have at least three options:
1 - You can put your foot down and say you aren't going to live like this any more and change the relationship.
2 - You can move out and move on.
3 - You can take it and live with it.
The choice is yours.
Good luck!
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