A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Im fifteen and I have crippling trust and jealousy issues. My gf of five months is very devoted. But I cant help but feel uncontrollable jealousy over small things and worry over things that havent even happened. I actually have times where Im daydreaming and I think about us having bachelor and bachelorette parties and her cheating on me at hers and my chest will tighten up and my legs will go waek. This is bad. Even if I watch a movie where someone is cheated on Ill be mad at her if we talk on the phone too soon after Im done watching it. I have begun slipping into depression over it. I have started thinking about killing myslef over the stresses of nonexistent and imagined problems in our relationship. I belive I feel this way becuz shes only my secong gf in high school and truly the first girl Ive ever kissd...(Im 16)...Ive never been attractive to any other girls at my school really until now so I dont really belive in the sincerity of her love becuz of this. Any advice?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2008): There must be something going on in your mind that springs from a memory. Perhaps it is to do with the way your family worked and how your parents are together. You are so young and trying things out, the first love is always very intense.
It is important not to let this go on if it is making you ill and I would say the best course of action is to do some good reading (online) on the subject of jealousy, trust and over-thinking. Then think about whether you could do with talking to someone.
One of the best methods of training out of these sort of negative thoughts is cognitive behavioural therapy which you can access free at a website called Moodgym.
It is a painful and exciting time for you all together, but you certainly deserve some calm. One of the main keys to being balanced and happy is to have interests of your own that absorb you. It sounds like a simple thing to say but it is very, very important. Those people who manage to have happy lives and relationships do this very well too. The reason is they have self worth and when you have that you have less time or inclination to think negatively about yourself. Self worth comes from loving yourself not relying on someone else to make you feel loved and worthy. People who get relied on for that find it very tiring, which is not good for any relationship and it is not necessary. For a while it can make them feel important but it would be better if you could do something about this yourself and you have already started by sending in your question. Well done.
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