A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I live with my parents, and i'm currently on medication for depression. when my parents have had holidays, ive been able to look after myself and have behaved.I'm seeing a pyschlogist at the moment who is helping me through my troubles. I asked her whether I was able to drink alcohol while I was still taking medication. she said I was allowed two halves of beer which stuck to originally.However, this week I ended up going over that and roughly had about five to seven halves. and ended up being unwell during the night and because of this little blip.I now have to go on holiday with my parents and I'm worried this will be permanant fixture, where I'll be required to go all the time, and I don't want it to be the case.what should I do?
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live with my parents, on holiday Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (21 October 2016):
 Maybe the holiday might do you good, you can enjoy spending time as a family, and gain there trust. When you get back maybe you can work towards moving out off home and building a life for yourself.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2016): just tell them you dont want to go, and stay with a friend that you know.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2016): has anyone been in this situation before?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (14 October 2016):
 It's not your LAST holiday ever. It's the LAST holiday your parents are TAKING you on. You are in your 20's, so an adult. YOU want to go on holiday, you work, you save up, you book a vacation.
You dad is just stating that he no longer wishes to enable you, at least that is my guess.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2016): it's the last holiday I'm going on apparently, ive just spoken to my father just now.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (14 October 2016):
While I get that your psychologist said you could drink two halves of beer, I think it's irresponsible of her to suggest you should even entertain drinking AT ALL. I can't imagine ANY psychologist telling a patient to drink alcohol at all.
You are suffering from depression and the LAST thing you should be doing is drinking. It ONLY makes depression worse.
It was not a little "blip" or a mistake when you went over the limit you have. YOU just didn't care. And now the consequences are that your parents are reluctant to trust you.
Why the need for alcohol AT ALL? Is part of your depression due to alcoholism? or budding alcoholism? Or is the drinking your way of "extra medicating"?
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/expert-answers/antidepressants-and-alcohol/faq-20058231
Read that link please and EDUCATE yourself. IF you want to work through this depression, you NEED to take charge of yourself and your health as well as your mental health. THAT is not your parent's job.
My advice? GO on holiday. Soak up some sunshine, new places, new people, lovely food and DO NOT drink AT ALL while there. And start taking responsibility for YOUR health.
Your parents can't keep micro-managing you, but I understand why they do right now. They are scared for you. Scared that you don't care enough about yourself and your health, so they feel obligated to care EXTRA by treating you like a child.
SHOW them that you HAVE good sense and that you WANT to get well.
And quit drinking 100%.
That is someone speaking from experience. I had issues with alcohol in my early 20. I had black-outs, I got sick quite a few times. I couldn't just have one drink. It took me a while but I recognized that I HAD a problem and I quit drinking altogether. In the last 25 years, I have had maybe 10 drinks. It is quite possible to NOT drink alcohol at all. Both my grandfather's had issues with alcohol, both were VERY high functioning alcoholics. One were a binge drinker/seasonal alcoholic and the other a "social" alcoholic. My dad had issues with it too, but up until now have refused to see it as a problem. It took him till he was 72, DON'T waste your life thinking alcohol is ESSENTIAL to having a good life or fun.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (14 October 2016):
 The only way to convince people you are trustworthy is to behave in a trustworthy manner.
Your "little blip" shows you cannot be trusted to follow medical advise.
Go on the holiday with your parents, and use the time to consider what you need to do in the following 12 months to ensure you are not "forced" into going on another with them.
don't forget to pack your cozzie!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2016): what should I say to them? I want to get out of going. but dont know how to convince them to trust me.
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A
male
reader, 11muds11  +, writes (13 October 2016):
My suggestion is to not drink alcohol on this trip. It will be interesting to see many new things, you probably won't need it. It will also take care of this worry.
Also, some people do not do well with alcohol. If you are worried about it, it might not be for you. That's no problem.
Hope this helps
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (13 October 2016):
Mixing medication and alcohol is an irresponsible act, especially when you have professional advice on your limit and you exceed that by more than double.
You live with your parents, and in return they live with your mental illness, and any "little blips" will have the capacity to bring all their fears about you to the fore.
Here's my take, if you are adult enough to make the decision to ignore professional medical advise you are adult enough to move out of your parents home and take care of yourself.
I am sure once you have your depression under control and have demonstrated an ability and willingness to follow professional medical advise your parents concern for you will lessen to a huge degree, even though they will still worry. At this stage you have effectively demonstrated you are unable to care for yourself, and so, rather than spend their holiday worrying about whether you are going to have another "blip" where they may come home to a dead body they want to take you with them where at least they will know you are alive and safe.
Go on the holiday abroad, you might even enjoy it, and while you are laying on a beach somewhere, under the hot Mediterranean sun, consider your future and if you think medical advise is worth listening to, which will hasten you on your road to recovery, or not.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (12 October 2016):
Sweetie you are an adult you do not have to do anything. I totally understand that your parents are probably worried about you, you are there daughter and you are suffering from depression so I can see why they want to look after you.
But you are an adult, and you need to tell them that you can look after yourself. They cannot force you to go on holiday.
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