A
female
age
51-59,
*eena1
writes:Dear Cupid I have been married for almost 8 years now and it feels like a vicious cycle. my husband is on meds for adhd and clinical depression and still won't get help. my patience and epathy are almost wearing out. I have developed panic disorder due to this. I do not know what to expect from day to day everything's fine one min and the next is all blown out of proportion. I have given ultimatums. he's good for a few weeks than slides back to the old ways. I have emotional and physical needs in which he doe'snt even meet. he says im selfish. i support myself and do everything for him I have even considered an affair. I feel trapped. when does this stop? Please help. I do love him but feel I can't trust his behaviors. its to much for my head. just blows my mind uhghh hope someone has an answer Thank you
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (11 April 2011):
 You must begin to picture the kind of life you would LOVE to have with your spouse. Imagine him being well, and off medications and able to cope with his ADHD in positive ways. Imagine yourself too, living the life you want to live with him. Having a great job, lots of money, sexual excitement, pleasure, and joy. Then start making positive steps to create this world. It can become a reality. It is the power of love in the form of positive thinking and imagining what you want to make it so. I don't know what degree your husband's ADHD is. But medications for this should not be making him more depressed. He could be on the wrong medication, or no medication. Just being able to talk to someone about his feelings (counselor, ir not you) and knowing there's a support system for him to do so, could improve his outlook greatly. You can contribute to that happy, calm environment he needs to improve. Learning how to curb our natural tendency to nag, and complain is a hard habit to break but it can be done. Everytime you feel yourself about to nit-pick, stop yourself and tell him how wonderful he is. How sexy, or handsome or smart he is. You may not even believe it yourself, but if you will contnue to practice this over and over, you will begin to change the way you see and feel towards him. This will probably do wonders to change how he feels as well. He may be depressed in part because he senses he is losing you. Those negative feelings are feeding on themselves, creating your destiny. But it's not too late to stop the wheels. You must practice love every day, tell it to yourself, tell it to him. Imagine your life together the way you'd like it to be if you could re-write it and then believe it every day to be so. Then just stand back and watch the change take place. I wish you the best. xoxox
A
female
reader, Love Mama +, writes (11 April 2011):
 Dear Mind Blow Girl,In my opinion, if your husband doesn't do his part in seeking help for his mental issues, he is not interested in making a better marriage, either. This has gone on too long, hasn't it? Don't have an affair. You won't forgive yourself for being "that kind of girl" and you won't find happiness in it. The only way you will find happiness will be having a good marriage to a man who cares enough about himself (and your relationship) to find help. If he isn't pulling his end of the deal, I find no other solution but to try a seperation. Perhaps this will kick start him into truly realizing how much he needs to fix things.Love Mamaxoxo
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A
female
reader, Ima FreAk!  +, writes (11 April 2011):
 Hiyaaaa,Depressed people tend to think that they're alone must of the time and that no one understands them, they don't fit in society and considered as outsiders and often isolated.I think what you should do is maybe get your husband to talk about his feelings, this is from Freud as he said talking about your feelings help overcome the problem. So get your hubby to talk about his feelings and maybe you can understand how he feels like.You don't need to be in your panic mood because depression can be solved!!!!!! You should tell your husband that you really love him and will support him and help him through he just gotta accept that someone out there wants to help him. (Technically give him a emotional speech where you could end up crying, talk about how you would feel if he died) - I know this might be outrageous! It is but it can help him understand that you actually need him, love him and will truly help him. Gain that trust!Always keep him happy and if it doesn't get better honestly get your husband to see a consultant because it can be beneficial for the relationship!Hope my advice helps!Good luck and DON'T PANIC! :pLots of love,Ima FreAk!x
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