A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Due to childhood problems, I have a major phobia of the dentist... and therefore never been... also due to those reason as problems, my dental hygiene is horrible :( I know it is! I am on track to sort them out.The problem is; I put off ever meeting guys who ask me out because I fear that the state of my teeth will put them off me. I'm so insecure about myself because of my teeth. I hardly ever want to smile, laugh or talk around guys in fear that they will see them and either ask me questions about them (which I find very awkward and hate discussing) or they will wait until the end and never want to see me again... I don't know what to do while I wait to sort out my horrible dental hygiene
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2017): I agree with the other comment here that this doesn't matter. I have never actually thought about the teeth of any woman that I've been in a relationship with. The things that attract me and I'd guess lots of other men- wit, intelligence, kindness etc- have nothing to do with this at all. Also even if I did notice, everyone has imperfections and this is not a serious one- compared say to a short temper it is nothing so don't worry about it.
Lastly I don't know why you have a phobia but it is really common for people to be very nervous about going to the dentist. You may have deeper reasons for it- you mention a childhood experience- but its not something that is uncommon. There is only one reason I would suggest you do go and that's for your own sake- to make sure that nothing bad is going on inside your mouth and if there is, to sort it out. But as regards relationships, it is not important.
A
female
reader, RubyBirtle +, writes (26 February 2017):
Obviously, I can't see the state of your teeth and gums myself but rest assured that most problems of this sort (chin hairs, zits, cold sores, stained teeth, etc) are often much more noticeable by the owner of the problem than to everybody else.
You only mention being embarrassed about talking to men. Do the women you speak to question you about the state of your teeth? Most of them probably don't so most men won't want to get into a discussion about it either.
But, I sympathise, it's hard to pull when you don't feel good about yourself but there's also nothing wrong with being single for a while.
Luckily dental hygiene problems (as opposed to orthodontic problems) are quite quickly sorted out once you've seen the dentist and the hygienist and if you stick to the recommendations they give you. So you won't have to pledge yourself to single-hood very long. It'll only be a few months.
You can also make a start yourself whilst waiting for the appointment so get brushing and flossing in the mean-time. However, if staining is a problem for you avoid using strong mouthwashes as they can make staining worse.
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