A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I need help. I have meet this man whom I thought I could have a relationship with, how very wrong I was... after 3 weeks into the relationship he told me he was married with 3 children, he told me he plans to leave his wife after xmas, I don't know if I should believe him or not. He says he wants to have a relationship with me once his marriage is over. What should I do as I've asked one of my friends for help and she told me she doesn't want to know about him.. I need help.. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, buffy 37 +, writes (19 November 2008):
if i were you i'd send him with his tail between his legs . you have only met this man let him go before you end up hurt , time will tell if he leaves his wife but even if he did i would have nothing to do with him . if he does this while he's in a marrage chances are he'll keep doing it say goodbye and good luck xx
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (17 November 2008):
 Look at the disrespect he's already shown you and know this, it's just the tip of the iceberg. Unless you are into pain, you better run.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2008): Hi, well expect to wait all your life on this cheater, wait for him for 3 weeks and you will wait all your life, he is a cheater born and bred, anyone who can even ask you to wait while he dumps his wife is not the kind of man you want a lifetime with, cheat with you cheat on you, you will see, read the story of Mae5 September 18th " My paramour used me for sex" and you will see the rubbish men come out with to get their own way, you are setting yourself up for a lifetime off misery, get out while you can and find a nice trustworthy man, don't let down the female race, have some pride. All the best. Kate x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2008): You know if he cheated on his wife what makes you think he wont do the same to you? Plus, stop and think, did he stop to think about his kids and how his cheating would affect them???? Sorry if I sound a bit harsh.
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A
female
reader, smiles12 +, writes (16 November 2008):
I am speaking from experience on this one... I found myslef in a very similar situation last year. I was stupid - I believed that he was going to leave his wife and me and him would live happily ever after and I'd make a great step-mother to his one year old son. Jeez how wrong was I!
You are wiser than me, you are asking the questions and looking for advice before you get too tangled in this tricky web of lies, go you!
My advice to you is to think of yourself and only yourself. As I see it he is full of bull and couldn't be honest with you from the start about his situation so why would he start being honest now? I think you need to take a break from him and really think about how you feel, cut all ties for a while. If you come to the conclusion that he is the right man for you and you can see yourself with him, then I suggest you tell him you are prepared to wait for him. But please don't let yourself be the reason he leaves his wife and kids, you don't want to be 'the woman my daddy left my mummy for' or 'the bitch that ruined my marriage'... do you?
There is much better out there, and does a leopard really change it's spots?
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A
female
reader, hannah76 +, writes (16 November 2008):
 Hello,
Big red flag from me I'm afraid! Think that it took him 3 weeks to tell you he is married. Certain things you bring up in conversation as the relationship moves along but being married needs to be said from day one. He didn't say.
If you continue here, you may be drawn into his divorce and that can get messy and nasty. He promises you something after the divorce, that's what you may cling on to throughout the coming months. It is a big risk. I'm sorry but based on the information you have given, it is a NO from me. Get out before he starts the divorce. take care, xxx
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A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (16 November 2008):
 A wife and 3 children.....Say goodbye...Don't let him use you for an excuse to leave his family. He may or may not go thru with his promise to you. Find someone who is free it will cause you less heartache in the end.
Read this article and hopefully you will be able to understand more about why.
What do I do and how do I stop acting like some needy clingy female.
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
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A
female
reader, helpjayne +, writes (16 November 2008):
 okay well, the after xmas thing could be an excuse my advice is sit it out, xmas isn't that far away, but if your not madly in love with him and haven't been seeing him for a while tell him to piss off you don't deserve to be lied to how dare he put you in that situation, i suggest if you do really like him tell him your guna give him some space before xmas to sort things out this way you can go have fun and have a laugh and not be stressing over him. if he doesn't leave her then you know that you'l always be dropped and picked back up by this guy when he wants you. you owe it to your self to get out if he lets you down there are plenty more unmarried fish in the sea! don't let him think he can get away with it. xgoodluck i really hope you get your happyness.
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (16 November 2008):
 Okay, you need to keep focussed here. Tell him to look you up again once he's left the wife and NOT before! That way you'll see if he really means what he says. If he tries to get in touch with you again before he's moved out then put your foot down and tell him you're not going there! I know it's hard but it's necessary, both for your own self respect and in order to see if he's all mouth or if he really means what he says.
If you cave in and continue to see him while he's still with his wife then he'll never leaver her, why should he? He's having his cake and eating it too! STAND FIRM girl!
~Eve~
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A
female
reader, akmom +, writes (16 November 2008):
I say dump him and believe it when you see it. Break-ups don't happen overnight. Marriages don't dissolve at the drop of a hat. He's looking at a long and difficult road ahead of him and it's selfish of him to keep you hanging on. If it's meant to be it'll happen but in the meantime it's just going to cause conflict between the two of you. As much as it may hurt you should probably just walk away and when he's divorced, got the assets split up, have his own place, and custody taken care of then that's when you should go for it...if you're still interested. 3 kids is a lot! It takes a special woman to get into a relationship like that.
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