A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i'm growing apart from my cousin (about the same age) as she is hanging out with the wrong crowd (parties and drugs are her priorities) and takes no responsibility in life... She always has some kind of problems and is always taking the role of the victim to attract the wrong type of attention while never trying to change the negative aspects in her life. Nowadays we only exchange a few emails here and there but we haven't seen each other in a while. It's not like we can cut contact as we are blood-related and will probably see each other in a family reunion (which will probably be weird)... How do you guys deal with these kind of relatives: only trouble but you can't completely erase them from your life?
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male
reader, Diligence  +, writes (28 September 2012):
 You don't have to cut them off. Just don't agree with everything they do or say, especially if they are being "self-destructive." When you meet or talk don't rely on your relative to drive the whole conversation. Let her know how you're doing and that you're happy working, going to school, seeing some new guy, or whatever. You can't let them dominate your life with their problems. You can always give good or bad advice, but in the end everyone has to account for their own situations. Her life is not your life.
If you hang your leg out the window of the car while riding down the highway, what do you think is going to happen? If you're relative never looks for serious help, she'll never get it.
A
male
reader, xgod +, writes (28 September 2012):
 I have a baby brother who is nearly as bad as your cousin sounds. Worse when it comes to stealing from and lying to relatives.
You can try various solutions, but what I have done is told him to never try contacting me and never bother me again. I have cast him out to his own life. What happens to him, what he does and pays the price for is his own problem.
Cold? yes.
But this is a kid who has stolen, robbed, cheated, and lied constantly his entire life.
Just my 2 cents.
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