A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been with this woman for a year and could not take it any longer. I read what people wrote on here but like others thought I could fix the problem. Now I have to fix me cause I am addicted to her! I have been doing alanon and counseling which are both good. I am not eating sleeping or thinking right and I have a big knot in my stomach.So I saw this and did this...cause I fully agree with it....If your alcoholic won't quit, as hard as it is, the greatest act of love you can offer is to withhold your support, your help, yourself and your love from them. This is their best chance for recovery. If the addict won't quit even then, the choice was made by the addict...and by you. This was your last and greatest act of love...to give them up in hopes they would give up the bottle. Guess what she did???Just jumped to another guy!!!!!!I wrote her this note:Dear XXX, I must say it was very disheartening to see that you have jumped into another relationship so quickly. All options that I tried never worked to help you see the light, so I decided to pull away and do "hard love" hoping that this would help catalyze something in your brain making you see something…..but, as usual, there was no change - you went to AA meetings and counselor meetings for a bit but again backed off them since you met a new guy. It's the same story all over again just starting with another guy. I do realize that only YOU can make the change if you want to - the change is in your head (you think you want to make the change) but not in your heart as I have said over and over again. Your actions speak loud and clear and they tell me that you never really loved me; for if you did, you would have taken the next steps to get better and be with me forever, or at least took some time off to heal and rethink life. Instead you jump right back into a relationship. Do you think this is the proper thing to help you get better? You are still having issues because you called me on {date} and {date} drunk at 3am. You should focus on YOU and seek the help you need to get better. That's what I am doing for myself - focusing and taking care of me whereas my focus was always on Lorie - me having another woman now would not let me focus on ME. You need to do the same - another guy in your life will not help you focus on you. I am just trying to give you words of wisdom and words to make you think. Love, ME Since I am the one that pulled away, the response I got to this note was:You are the one that caused this all to happen. F U! Just go away.I know it was the best thing, I just need TIME.Any thoughts appreciated!
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female
reader, LoveIsStrongerThanPride +, writes (19 July 2010):
 Eeeeeeeeeeek.......she is awful. She has no idea that she had such a good guy. She is so drunk that she can't see it. I guarantee you when she becomes sober she will REGRET her actions.
I think you have done enough, start concentrating on you, you are not responsible for her anymore, she doesn't want to change.
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