A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I hear about how common it is for the husband to be "emotionally unavailable", but how does a wife deal with that? Thing is, it's not like we have all the time together. He is in the military and is gone for periods of 3-6 months. Thing is, he has been home for about a year without any intervening "tours" and he seems to be uniterested in sex. It's like he wants oral all the time but when it comes down to me, i get pushed off to the side like my pleasure doesn't matter.I know there is no cheating, i never accuse him. i dont complain about it, but i have sat him down to talk about it and it's always because he is too tired or he doesnt feel like it. I'm not sure what to do. I've tried spicing it up, giving in to oral and hoping he pleasures me, but most of the time i have to go to bed in the mood and deprived. I dont understand!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have asked him but it seems that he is too lazy and he is not in the army, he is in the navy. I guess i should have been more specific
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (3 May 2009):
 What army has deployments of 3 months?
If he has been to war, might he be suffering from trauma?
Anyway, you are not describing an emotionally unavailable man but a sexually selfish man. He gets his jollies, you don't get yours.
Has he always been like that? Why is he like that. Does he ask for oral sex of his own accord? How much. If he is to tired to sex, why isn't he to tired for a blowjob (yes it requires less energy from him, but you could ride him for intercourse and eating pussy ain't all that tiring)
Two options really, either he has some trauma that make him reluctant to have intercourse/foreplay (for you) which seems odd. No sex would be more likely then just a desire for one sided oral sex.
Other option, congrats, you found a selfish prick. Then this has probably been going on from the beginning and you should have known better. If he himself asks for blowjobs but never does anything for you, not even intercourse with you doing the action, then this seems most likely.
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