A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i have been dating the same guy off and on for fifteen years. He often tells me that he's never going to marry me I want to move on but I don't know where to start. Can you give me some tips?
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female
reader, twisted +, writes (28 June 2008):
 Is getting married to this man more important than being with him? If it's a matter of just wanting to married because of what you think you should do, that's not a good enough reason. If it's a religious thing, that's a little different, you need to leave. If it's because you want him to show you he is willing to commit to you and only you and he won't, he's dismissing your feelings and that's not fair. BUT, after 15 years, IF YOU LEAVE OVER THIS, I would say it's almost inevitable he will come back and commit. If he truly loves you, he won't be want to find someone else to start over with after all this time. Please do what is the RIGHT thing for you in your life and what will make you happy in the end! It might be the most painful thing you may go through, but there is a plan....
A
female
reader, BigSis  +, writes (28 June 2008):
 You have to just try and be extrememly strong and walk away. I did. 'Easier said than done', I hear you say, I know. I got the same stuff from everyone. But I loved this guy so much and he felt the same. It's so true you know, that saying, 'Love is blind'.
You're what, early thirties? Well I'm 51 now. I was 37 when we met and we fell deeply in love, I had endless promises from him ~ that one day we would get married.
Almost 14 yrs on and nothing, I'd had enough, even tho' I still loved him. I broke his heart apparently, but mine was hurt more. Yes it hurt like hell, still does a little I guess sometimes, but I've moved on and I'm having 'fun' again now.
It does get easier. I promise. I don't think my man had any intention of marrying me. I couldn't see my life without him, to be honest. Now I can.
My relationship with him was complicated, it's a very long story and you don't want to know. We never once exchanged an argument or fight, we were 'the perfect couple'.
Now all that's left for me to say to you is; walk away my love, and don't look back. There's going to be tears and heartache, but before you know it, you're going to meet someone else.
I said in another thread, 'There is someone for everyone out there'...even for me, YAY! and we're going to find him one day, so there's another promise for you.
I've moved on, and if I can do it, so can you.
I'll be thinking of you and wishing you the very best of luck, you deserve it, so do I.
Keep in touch.
BigSis xXx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2008): You present as aged 30-35 (overage) and currently living in the USA. You have spent a large part of your life with this man and he has made it clear he is not willing to marry you. Are you willing to spend another 15years loving him, is your love able to accept this situation.
If you think you deserve more then you need to speak to this man and explain how you feel. What about children, don't you want them. If you do, you have to find a partner that is willing to give you more commitment than this man seems able to give. Finish the relationship and find somebody new, who is willing to marry you and give you the children that you may want at some point. Don't delay, your not getting any younger, and you will soon be too old to have children anyway. Your not doing anything wrong, he's not doing anything wrong, it just seems you have different aims and goals in life and thus this man may be incompatiable for a long term relationship with you.
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A
female
reader, Livinglifedaybyday +, writes (28 June 2008):
He says he won't marry you but does he want to spend the rest of his life with you?? Marraige is great yes, but if you really love your boyfriend and have been with him so long do you really believe that a piece of paper is gonna change anything? Some people just don't believe in marraige and you must decide if you love him enough to accept this.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2008): Sorry Hunny. I know this must be REALLY hard for you. I can't even imagine.
Are you sure it's not because he just doesn't believe in marriage? Or something complicated like that and has nothing to do with wanting to spend his life with you? Have you talked to him about it?
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