A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi, so now divorced for 9 months, feeling ready to move on, missing companionship, laughter, cuddles, and everything that comes with relationships. So I joined a dating site, and met up with a couple of nice guys but no spark there. Until I met, who I thought was ideal. We met, we both were relaxed, laughing,chatting and happy, He told me I was beautiful, and although I didn't find him drop dead gorgeous, or fancy the pants off him, I definitely felt there was a spark, something I really liked about him. I honestly can see us having fun, sharing good times together. I messaged him telling hi how much I had enjoyed his company, he reciprocated, and said he very much enjoyed my company too. Great, I thought, but he then added, he wasn't sure how far we could go, and he isn't sure that I am ready for a relationship! Ouch, that stung, left me wondering what I did wrong, it seemed just so relaxed and went well, so, do I respond politely, or ask him to explain further? Feeling downhearted again xx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2016): He feels you are not ready for a relationship ! how does he know what you feel inside , he cant possibly know , sounds like hes either read your vibes all wrong or hes not ready to date himself . Are you what they call out of his league , He could have said your not ready because you havent had a relationship since your divorce . Keep up beat suggest another date if he says no move on but dont let him know its knocked you a bit brush yourself off and find another date . the hardest thing is you only get one chance of giving a first impression , sometimes it can make people see you completely wrong to how you are
A
female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (15 September 2016):
 He may have said this to let you down easy, or he may have genuinely not been sure if you were ready for a new romance. Reassert your interest, and see if it's reciprocated. If not, move on. It takes a long time to find a good match, so try to stay positive and keep moving forward!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (15 September 2016):
 Did you mention your ex at all on the date? That word can really scare a man away. If you feel you did then maybe he just does not want to get involved, I can see his worries, it has only been nine months, but if you feel you are ready then tell him that, you know yourself how you feel.
Not wanting to dishearten you again but it could just be an excuse from him because he did not feel a spark but does not want to hurt you, either way just be honest with him and see what he has to say.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2016): Honey pie gives superb advice, my thoughts are similar, perhaps you gave off the signal that you were still angry about your x.? Or if you did talk about him/her, maybe it was clear that you haven't got that out of your system. could you ask him if you might go out as friends to see where it leads if anywhere? If he is understanding, perhaps he has been there himself, maybe he can see where you are coming from.I have to say, don't rush in too quickly, there will be other dates out there. Don't get intense on the first one or two. Enjoy before you choose
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 September 2016):
 When you went out on that date did you talk a lot about your ex? your marriage? Are you still "entwined" in you ex-husband's life, do you share kids/grown kids with your ex?
If so, I can understand why he might feel like you haven't quite let go of the past.
However, you are the ONLY one can say for sure IF you are ready to date or not. And that is something you HAVE to consider seriously.
I don't know how long your marriage was, by going by your age I'm guessing it wasn't short. And 9 months can seem a short time to "get over" a long marriage. Though of course, you might have been over the marriage a long time before the divorce.
I can understand his caution. So suggest the two of you go slow? See where it takes you? Keep sex out of the picture till you both feel ready to be WITH each other.
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