A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice! A few months ago I started a relationship with my housemate but it didn't work out, and I'm worried it's because I freaked him out and made him pull away. I'd love to know how best to move on and learn from this.So we were only dating for a couple of months. At the start he was super into me and, because we live together, I had to speak to him about not taking this too fast, etc. He was a little freaked out by this conversation but he seemed to get it. A few weeks after that though I felt like he started to lose interest. I realised he wasn't making any effort to make me feel special and I was the one making all the plans. At times, it seemed he didn't even want to have sex with me.I tried to talk to him, after about 6 weeks of dating, but he massively freaked out and it ended up being an awkward conversation that didn't resolve anything. A few days after that we went out together and ended up sleeping together. I started to get hopeful that maybe he was interested, but again, a few days later I sensed major disinterest. We had another chat and I feel like I forced him to break up with me. He said he didn't want a long term relationship and didn't see us going anywhere.Obviously I respect his decision, but a part of me is still really confused. He seemed to really like me a lot at the start, before we started seeing each other. Do you think there was anything I did that freaked him out? I'm worried I assumed too early on that this was the beginning of a relationship and he might have sensed this and pulled away.It's kind of awkward now at home. We get on really well and i haven't given him a hard time about what happened, but I do often feel really sad that he lost all interest in me and I'd like to know what I can do to avoid this happening again?Thanks.
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female
reader, NORA B  +, writes (17 September 2016):
First of all this has nothing at all to do with you.At the start he showed interest ,because he just wanted sex...and nothing more.Would you consider asking him to leave and find someone to share,because its very difficult for you to be living in the same house as he is in or would you be able to find somewhere else to live.I can understand that you are sad over this situation,and that is not easy for you.A Fresh start would be best for you ,and hopefully you will meet a man who will love,respect and value you.In time you will find he is Not worth feeling sad about.Try and build up a friendship,and make sure you know the other persons feelings .Kind regards NORA B.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (15 September 2016):
 I really don't think it was anything that you done. If truth be told it sounds like he wanted to hook up with you so he showed interest at the start. He said he did not want a relationship, therefore I feel he just wanted casual sex. It has nothing to do with what you done or said. He should have been more honest about what he wanted from you.
It must be difficult still living together, is there no way that you can find another place so you don't need to see him every day?
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