A
female
age
26-29,
*roblemmaganet
writes:MOD NOTE: 2 posts combined into one.I feel I am ready to date, but my parents have different ideas. I know that when it comes to stuff like dating, they still see me as their little girl. I try to talk to them, but as soon as I start, they won't listen to me at all!!! It feels wrong to have a relationship behind their back, but I also want to be able to live my life and grow up. I don't want to lose their trust, but I don't know what to do about it! Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!! When I date, I tend to go fast. I don't want to, I want to go slowly, but it's hard to when I want to be with a guy. Any ideas on this? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (17 January 2010):
I was on your side until you started talking about going fast. That is the exact reason your parents don't let you date. But telling you to wait is not something you will listen to, so this is my advice : let friends come come over to your house, a small group with a mixture of boys and girls and maybe your bf among them. Just hang out in a open area like the front garden while your parents are there. Your parents will be watching your interactions. And parents tend to feel there is safety in numbers. Then do this at another friend's house, a friend that your parents know perhaps. Over a few sessions of hanging out with adults present whereever you are, your parents will slowly start to give you a little more trust. I remember my first curfew was 5pm (yep, that's right). So I could only catch an afternoon movie. But every year the curfew increased as they learnt to trust me more. I made sure I was home when I said I would. Nowadays you have cellphones; if they call you don't screen their calls. I have a 14 year old daughter and I let her hang out with her friends of both sexes at our house or another house where there is an adult present, but if I call her and she doesn't answer then there is hell to pay. So if you accept this for now they might be willing to go with it. Don't try to start with nights out until midnight etc. because they won't let you yet. I must say though, I never appreciated the boundaries set by my parents until I was an adult. So you have good parents who love you.
As for your fast approach, remember that guys don't remain interested for long in girls who are too eager or too easy. You will be used and dumped many times over if you don't get this now. Being guys, they will take whatever they can get from you while waiting for a really nice girl who respects herself. So pull back; there is no rush.
A
male
reader, Honest Answer  +, writes (17 January 2010):
 The fact is, they love you. I know you feel like you are ready to date, and you might be, but remember that the reason they are protective is that they love you. Thought they might let you date right now, you know and I know that they can't keep you from dating forever. Just be patient and thank the stars that you have parents that care.
Good Luck!
Jeff
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2010): "When I date, I tend to go fast. I don't want to, I want to go slowly, but it's hard to when I want to be with a guy. Any ideas on this?"
This is exactly why your parents are cautious. Do you think that pregnancy or a STI will be fun? Even adults in their 20s and 30s who have better control of their emotions make mistakes in dating that they later regret. Until you can force yourself to go slowly it is probably best not to date.
...............................
|
