A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 20 years old and I'm dating a man who is 25 years old than me. I always ask him if he has a problem with our age difference. He says he doesn't. So am I the one with the problem? Sometimes I feel like our relationship is only sexual and I feel like that's all he wants from me. Should I mention it? I really care about him but I'm not even sure he's told his daughter about us. He doesn't even mention his daughter when we talk or changes the subject when I mention her. Is that a bad thing?
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female
reader, sweetheart43  +, writes (4 December 2008):
 well maybe he does have a problem with the age difference. does he hold your hand in pulic? does he tell his frinds about you? does he talk about you to his friends? will he show his love for you around women his age? is he worried about what people will think about you two dating? if you think he would answere yes or sometimes to these questions then i would say he might have the problem with the age difference......you could also flip the script...ask yourself the same questions. or it could be that his daughter might have the problem with the age difference with you being young in all. just be happy with him as long as your relantionship grows. beside i think age don't make a difference anybody can love and there is someone for someone regradless of age, etc......best wishes!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2008): 13 and 20, that's pretty close. A year ago you were a teen. The fact that you already have a child of-course matured you more than girls your age, but still 25 years is 25 years. I do believe that age makes a difference, starting with hormone level, sex drives and so on.
Most important that you feel he is not enough for you, and despite the fact that you really like him desided to end it. That's a very mature decision. It shows that you want somebody in your life who would be your real lifepartner, not just a fling.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI thought I would clarify some stuff. His daughter is 13, he's not married. We have allot in commom from our kids to politics. I would like to thank all of you for your advice I have come to a decision about this relationship or the lack of. He's a great man but I need more from this relationship so Im calling it off.
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A
male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (19 November 2008):
 The age difference doesn't really matter. The question is what the two of you are getting out of the relationship. If you are having these misgivings, it sounds like you are not happy with it. First, you don't mention what you are getting out of this relationship, which suggests, "not very much". And secondly, you strongly suspect that he is getting exactly what he wants -- SEX.
If that is the case, you should start thinking what your relationship is about. The age difference is a factor, but I don't think it is the primary issue.
As for avoiding talk about his daughter, he may not want to be reminded that you are a similar age to his daughter. He doesn't want to be made to feel like a father figure to you. In other words, he doesn't want to be reminded of the age gap!
If this man is not giving you what you need emotionally, or if you feel that he is just using you for sex, you should seriously consider whether you should be with him or not. This would be my advice whether he was 25 or 55.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2008): Just think about it, he probably has daughter your age. At this point 20 and 45 is huge difference in age. Your life just starting, he is middle age man. He has tones of life experience, you hardly have any. Do you have anything in common, like hobbies , any interests. He of-course enjoys your body tremendously, but do you guys have long conversations, do you discuss anything familiar to both of you?It's one of those situations that is not very promising. Sometimes it works, but what are the odds? The fact that he tries to avoid talking about his daughter with you, probably because it bothers him a little that you are close to her age. Enjoy your time together while it lasts, but don't bring your hopes up.
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