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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi,I have a question that id like to ask of those that would know or have experience of out there.Can a relationship between 2 people work and be successful with a lasting future if there were limited or no sex taking place? We are both in our 30s, nearly 2 years together,engaged and are best friends. We still show affection and loving moments together as we love each other very much,but due to me having erectile dysfunction, we dont have sex often but would love to though. This bothers us both at times,but we are able to do other things to fulfil our sexual needs like foreplay and I do use Viagra sometimes to have sex with my fiancee. Communication is very good between us, we can talk about anything and discuss it to reach or compromise on a solution.Can this type of relationship last with a fulfilling future where we can both be happy or will it just die out as penetrative sex is not often?Many times we considered breaking up because of it, but we just couldnt as the love we have for each other is too strong and couldnt imagine life without each other. We would love to have that connection that couples get when they have sex and orgasm togther, that deep chemistry connection in our relationship, and yet everything else is great between us. Its just the one thing that is missing here and yet my fiancee says that she is happy with me and I am with her.Could really do with some good advice on this?
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male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (16 October 2006):
 Irish is right but like she said you both have to be in complete agreeance about this if not there will be major problems.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2006): Yes, a couple can have a deeply satisfying relationship-without sex. I can't stress enough though how crucial it is that the both of you must be in total agreement and on the same page. If one of you really wants great sex and it isn't happeneing then that person will eventually find themselves depressed and angry, and the relationship will be in trouble, as a result.
It seems you two do really share an intimacy that many couples would envy. I’m talking about a real intimacy here. The type of deep and growing bond and fulfillment that doesn’t have to lead into sex at all. From your posting it seems you both know each other well, and they have entrusted your real selves to each other. Sex is not the end all for a healthy, long lasting, long term relationship. There is a lot to be said about friendship, companionship and enjoying each other in other aspects. Just make sure you are both in agreement..together on this issue.
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