A
male
age
36-40,
*attty215
writes:hi everyone im a 25 year old dental student with only a few months left to qualify. recently joined a few dating websites and have been on a fair few dates in the last 5 months. i have also been set up by a few female friends who i work with.my problem is i dont seem to get past the 1st or 2nd date. so i go for a first date and then possibly a 2nd and then they send a message saying i dont want to meet up again, but you are a really nice guy im sure you will find someone soon.so its nice i get pollite rejections, but this seems to happen a lot to me. im just wondering if im doing something wrong at all? and if so how could i correct it?i am a nice guy and that isnt going to change, im pretty good at conversations due to my job, and im one of the funny people that always laughs and makes jokes. im not the best looking guy in the world and im the first to admitt that, but i never show off, if anything i dumb what i do down a bit. and i play a lot of sport (rugby to a high standard) and gym about 3 to 4 times a week.i know that sometimes people just dont like me like that which is fine, i accept it. im just worried im doing something wrong as i seem to get this quite a lot.any advice would be greatly appreciated.thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (29 March 2010):
 Hi looks are not always the factor when it comes to dating. A lot of women like a man who is caring, who listens to them, who is thoughtful and who doesnt go on about their life the whole date through.
Looking back at your conversation on the 1st dates what did you talk about? What did she talk about?
Dont look too desprate, even if you like the date your with at the time, stretch it out over the evening / day. Listen intently to what they are saying, there are lots of little signs. Is she looking at you? Is she facing you? is she concerned how she looks?, Is she playing with her hair?, is she touching you? Is she doing any of these then shes interested, if she starts yawing looking at the door or her watch then you might as well go back home.
On saying that dont give up, keep trying and one day you will find someone.
I met my girlfiend (well she contacted me) through on line dating and we enjoy a happy relationship so it is truly possible for this to work out for you too.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2010): I know this may be hard to hear but you could always ask the next lass who rejects you (that's if she does, who knows she may actually be a keeper, here's hoping *smiles*). I have asked that of people before, usually stating i'm not fussed they don't like me but to cure my own morbid curiosity could they tell me why they didn't want to take things further thus I can be better prepared and not make same mistakes on any potential future dates. Using this method i have recieved as a response utter silence and complete blunt honesty. Personally it has helped me but i would state that sometimes people just don't click and it may never be more than that. I started dating a guy i wasn't overally interested in and because he was a nice guy I gave him a bit more of a chance (nice guys are hard to find etc thus didn't want to blow things too soon), anyhow - six months later we are still dating and i couldn't be happier. We didn't click at the start but given time he has become the most interesting guy i know - really shocks me how quickly i went from mildly okaying him to being crazy about him :) Sometimes people cut things too short because they may not see a future yet really they aren't giving it enough time to bloom or fade. We are after all living in the instant gimme gimme gimme generation sadly. Oh, you could also ask friends if you could work on any area you could work on for future dates - friends tend to know your good stuff and your dirt, so they may willing dig to help you out :)
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