Dating a popular, mature, 'perfect' guy and it's starting to make me insecure of everything I do

A female age 30-35, *lyciaohtwo writes:

I got out of a 3 year on and off relationship with an abusive man 2 months ago. Since then I started to see a few guys, but didn't like any of them very much, and that was no problem for them either because they all stopped showing interest in me when they realized I didn't want to hit the sack on the first few dates. Anyway, finally met a guy I like, but he is 4 years my senior. Meaning he has already gotten his bachelor's and I am just going into university. He is a chemist by day, DJ by night, and a comedian as well. I hesitate to say he's perfect, because no one is, but he comes very close other than that he's a smoker which I don't mind. Needless to say..he has a lot of attention from girls. He started off being really enthusiastic in text, but now he is a little cold, but when we go out with his friends he is always holding my hand and hugging me.. usually has his arm around me and does little things like burrows his face into my hair etc etc. I get a lot of glares from other girls..usually attractive, and ask him why he turned so-and-so down and he admits to being picky. I feel really insecure with him because I feel like I'm not good enough. He is a fighter..meaning he gets into a lot of fights, and I warned him that if we saw my ex anywhere there would also be a fight - he asked who my ex was and I said "imagine someone like you in height, looks and attitude..." - truth, because my ex was almost identical to him. He was a little taken aback by my comment (This was the 3rd time I was seeing him). I also said once "oh no it's a friend of my ex" when we saw a friend of my ex's, and he said "I don't like that you say things like that, truth be told... I don't point out my ex or my ex's friends..it's just not something you bring up" and I agreed and sincerely apologized to him. I know bringing up an ex is a total no-no but I didn't mean anything by it and I told him that...I'm just afraid of doing anything wrong with this guy I guess..sigh. He kissed me on the first date, and it kind of happened when I leaned in to hug him on the third date. I texted him after, apologizing about the ex issue again, but he didn't reply. I just feel like I'm not good enough for this guy...not interesting enough, not witty enough, etc... my confidence is slipping a little. First time he saw me he said "I'm different from other guys.." or he says things like "I rarely ever lose anything.." or "I get what I want.. " etc. Alot of people recognize his face around the city and I'm just starting to feel a bit insecure - I really like this guy, but his expectations in a girl are so high that I feel like I can never fulfill them =(

View related questions: confidence, his ex, insecure, my ex, text, university

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A female reader, alyciaohtwo  +, writes (3 August 2010):

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A female reader, mimisoph3  +, writes (3 August 2010):

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