A
female
age
36-40,
*malthea
writes:i am in a relationship with a man who is going through a divorce. he had been married for 14 years and his wife ended it. he reassures me that he is ready to start something new, that his marriage has been "dead" for years, and that he wants to be with me. however, i can't help but think...i'm just a REBOUND or at least a distraction. how can i be sure that he is ready? should i just trust him? we have known each other for years and there has always been chemistry, i just question the timing.
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male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (25 September 2012):
 There are no guarantees in life and no guarantees in any relationship.
It does sound like your boyfriend is going through a very traumatic time in his life. While there is no way to tell what the end result is, I would encourage you, like any other relationship, to take it slow.
Some red flags that could torpedo your relationship: does your boyfriend have kids? If so, they are going through a dramatic time and they may not be ready to accept you either. If your boyfriend's divorce is hostile or they fight alot, some of the emotional turmoil may bubble over into your relationship. What will his relationship with his wife be like after the divorce? These are all things that could seriously tax your relationship.
Finally, you need to ask yourself what you are looking for in this relationship. Are you looking for marriage or just a long term relationship? If you are looking for marriage, you'll have to wait through his divorce plus probably a lengthy cooling off period (Most guys won't want to jump into the marriage pool again right away).
Finally, I think you have to look at the character of your man. Is he really unwavering committed to you? Or is he clinging to you like a drowning man clinging to a life preserver?
Ultimately the decision is yours and you know more about what you have with him. Your relationship may be more risky than most, but none the less, very few relationships aren't without risk and most require work and trust. Also remember, just about everyone is a rebound from someone else (at least in my opinion).
Hopefully, I've given you some food for thought and maybe you can do some soul searching and answer your own question yourself.
Good luck.
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